Wife-In-Law Read Online Free PDF Page B

window in the house. For supper I stopped by Henri’s Bakery for a sandwich and a French apple tart, so the sun was low and blazing by the time I reached our subdivision. “It’s a scorcher,” the weatherman on WQXI blared cheerfully. “Ninety-one degrees, with eighty-three percent humidity. Three-day forecast, the heat continues, with no relief in sight except for the occasional afternoon or evening shower.” Shower? They were gully-washers. “Lows in the high seventies. Better grab that pitcher of tea and head for the pool. And now, back to our Golden Oldie Hour with ‘Good Vibrations’ from the Beach Boys!”
    Psychedelic music filled the car as I reached our cul-de-sac and turned in to see what looked for all the world like a funeral tent in the hippies’ front yard, shaded from the sun by their house. Underneath it sat some chairs, with a little blue boat about four feet long, so small that the motionless arms and legs of the person inside it were hanging over the edges.
    I slowed. Dear Lord. Please tell me that’s not some dead body they’re going to bury in their front yard. Surely that was illegal.
    To my relief, the body reared up and hollered in Kat’s unmistakable accent, “I said, bring me some more ice, ’fore it all melts. I’m dyin’, here!”
    I couldn’t help myself; I pulled up alongside her and rolled down the window to ask, “Are you okay? Do I need to call for help?”
    Kat sat up, clearly embarrassed. “Oh, Lord, no. I’m just hot.”
    On closer inspection, I saw that the boat was really a boatshaped kiddy pool, and the hose was running into it, setting up a steady overflow that watered their thirsty new sod.
    Kat tucked her feet back into the water with a wry smile. “I never had a house before. We always rented. I remembered to pay the water bill and the mortgage, ” she said, elongating the last word, “but I completely fergot about the power. So when the builder’s line got turned off, we didn’t have any juice.”
    She was so calm about it, and so honest. I certainly wouldn’t have told anybody if I’d done something that dumb, much less somebody I barely knew. Who lived across the street.
    Kat went on. “It’s a hunnerd and ninety-seven inside, so we borrowed this tent from a friend of ours, just till we get hooked back up.” She turned toward the house to bellow, “Zach! If you melted in there, please tell me! Otherwise, bring me some more ice !”
    She said the word like “aaahs.”
    I spotted a couple of deflated air mattresses by one of the chairs. “How long will it take to get your power back?” I asked. Surely they weren’t planning to sleep out there, with all the bugs and the heat.
    “Not till tomorrow.”
    Zach erupted from the front door with a heavy cooler, his tattooed biceps bulging as he brought it down the front stairs. “You want aaahs, ” he mocked good-naturedly, “you’ve got aaahs .” He tipped it over the boat and dumped in at least three bags’ worth, sending a small tsunami over the gunnels.
    Kat shrieked with delight. “Aaaaggh! That feels fabulous!”
    Zach laughed. “Well, enjoy it, ’cause that’s the last of it.” Then he turned and granted me a smile from the depths of that nasty beard. “Hey there, Betsy Freakin’ Callison.”
    “Hey.” Suddenly, I was all too conscious of the fact that I’d been gawking at their misfortune. Without any conscious participation on my part, I heard my voice say, “It’s too hot and buggy for y’all to sleep out here. You’ll get eaten alive. Why don’t you stay with me? I’ve got plenty of room, and plenty of air-conditioning.”
    I did not just ask a couple of unmarried hippies to spend the night under my roof! When my husband was away!
    Kat jumped up out of the water with a shriek of joy. “Would we ever! Just give us time to get changed, and we’ll be right over.”
    Dear Lord. There was no taking it back now.
    Zach nodded in gratitude. At least I think it was gratitude.