White is for Magic Read Online Free PDF Page B

a dead giveaway. The hard part was trying to explain to everyone that that kind of behavior is normal for you."
    "How did you explain?"
    "No Homework Excuse #105."
    "Which is?"
    "Serious bout of the hemorrhoids."
    "Oh my god," I say. "Tell me you're joking."
    "No joke," Amber says. She grabs her pair of square black eyeglasses, scoots them down toward the tip of her nose, and snatches Drea's nail file. She files away at her sparkly purple fingernails.
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    'She's lying," Drea says. "It actually wasn't that hard to explain. I mean, after last year."
    "Yeah," Amber says. "It's almost like people expect that kind of psycho behavior from you. I know I do."
    I wince at the word, at the thought of myself labeled like some Hitchcock movie. But what's worse is that she's right.
    "What was your nightmare about?" Drea asks.
     
    I take a deep breath and exhale for five full beats. There's really no point in holding off telling them any longer. And so I just say it. "Veronica Leeman." Her name sounds so surreal on my tongue--like some unspoken secret buried deep in the ground where no one can touch it.
    "Veronica?" Drea's steel-blue eyes widen. "Why were you dreaming about her?"
    "Because she's dead. And maybe I'm the one responsible."
    Drea's mouth quivers into a frown. I'm not sure I should even be talking about any of this with her. Maybe she isn't ready to hear that I'm having nightmares again. I'm barely even ready myself.
    "Not this again." Amber stands up and picks a three-finger wedge from her tights. "We tried to save Veronica. We did everything we could have."
    "You don't really believe you're responsible, do you?" Drea asks.
    I shrug. "I'm not sure about anything anymore. I mean, I know I tried my hardest. I know I did my best to read my nightmares, my premonitions. It's just ... I have no other explanation as to why I'm dreaming about old ghosts."
    "Wait," Drea says. "What are you talking about?"
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    "I'm having nightmares about Maura too," I say. "I mean, it's only happened a few times, but they're the same nightmares I had right before she was kidnapped. Right before she was killed."
    It's weird to be talking about Maura again. When I was able to save Drea from Donovan last year, I felt that in some small way I was putting Maura's memory to rest--like I could finally forgive myself for ignoring the recurring nightmares I had about Maura three years before, for ignoring the premonitions that might have saved her life. But now I'm having my doubts.
    I close my eyes and think of that watercolor picture Maura made for me, painted with eight-year-old hands-- the two of us on her porch swing. It's tucked away in my scrapbook, but I suddenly have the urge to go and take it back out; I just miss her so much.
    "Wait," Amber says. "Does this have anything to do with last night--the whole 'M for Maura'
    business?"
    "It could," I say. "I saw the letter M in my nightmare, too. Not on a window. More like pressed behind my eyes."
    "So, what does that mean?" Amber asks.
    "I honestly don't know."
    "Why does it have to mean anything?" Drea asks. "So you dreamt about an M and then saw it in reality. You've dreamt about lots of pointless little details before--like that dream you had about fuzzy yellow socks and then Amber showed up wearing a pair. This could be the same sort of thing. It doesn't mean something bad is going to happen."
    "I guess," I say, fully understanding Drea's need to try and make light of the situation.
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    "But then why are you having nightmares about dead people?" Amber asks.
    "Your guess is as good as mine." I swallow down a mouthful of self-pity and look away.
    "That must be so depressing," Amber says. "Sleeping with a bunch of dead heads."
    "It isn't funny," I say. "Obviously my dreams are trying to tell me something."
    "I'm not laughing," Amber says. "Why would I be? It seems like every time you have nightmares, someone close to you dies. Maybe I'm next."
    "No one's next," I say. "I just need to figure out what