White Butterfly Read Online Free PDF

coulda wanted t’know why I needed it. You coulda wanted to know how much I already have.”
    Out of the small back window, over the sink, the sky was turning from night to a pale whitish color. It felt like the world was getting larger and I wanted to run outside.
    “Okay. All right. What you need it for?”
    “I need clothes for me an’ the baby, I got bills t’pay for my car, and my auntie down in Colette is sick and needs money t’go to the hospital.”
    “What’s wrong with’er?”
    “Stones. That’s what the doctor said.”
    “An’ how much you already got?” I almost felt like I was in charge.
    “Uh-uh, Easy. I wanna know where you could get yo’ hands on six hundred dollars,” she snapped her fingers, “just like that.”
    “I don’t ask you ’bout the money in yo’ pocket, baby. That’s your money,” I said. “It ain’t got nuthin’ t’do with me.”
    “You don’t need t’ask me nuthin’, Easy Rawlins. You know I work right down at Temple. I get there at eight every mo’nin’ an’ I’m home at five-thirty every day. You know where my money come from.”
    “An’ you know I work fo’ Mofass,” I argued. “I might not have reg’lar hours like you but I work just the same.”
    She snapped her fingers at me again. It made her furious that I could tell such a lie. “Ain’t nobody clean an’ sweep fo’ a livin’ could come up wit’ that kinda money. You think I’m a fool?”
    We had both come from hard times.
    Regina was the eldest of fourteen Arkansas children. Her mother died giving birth to their last child. Her father disintegrated into a helpless drunk. Regina raised those children. She worked and farmed and smiled for the white store owners. I don’t know the half of it but I do know that her life was hard.
    She had once told me that she’d done things that she wasn’t proud of to feed those hungry mouths.
    “I ain’t no criminal,” I said. “That’s all you gotta know. I could get your money if you need it. You want it?”
    Edna, who was now cradled in her mother’s arms, laughed loudly and threw her bottle to the floor. Her eyes and smile were bright and mischievous.
    Regina bit her lip. That might have been a small concession for some women but for her it was capitulation to a bitter foe.
    “You should tell me what I wanna know, Easy.”
    “I ain’t hidin’ nuthin’ from you, baby. You need money an’ I could get it. That’s because I love you an’ Edna and I would do anything for you.”
    “Then why won’t you tell me what I wanna know?”
    I stood up fast and Regina flinched.
    “I don’t ask you about Arkansas, do I? I don’t ask you what you had to do? When you tell me your auntie needs money I don’t ask you why, at least I don’t care. If you love me you just take me like I am. I ain’t never hurt you, have I?”
    Regina just stared.
    “Have I?”
    “No. You ain’t laid a hand on me. Not that way.”
    “What’s that s’posed to mean?”
    “You don’t hit me. It wouldn’t matter if you did, though, ’cause I be out that door right after I shoot you if you ever laid a hand on me or my daughter.” The defiance was back. It was better than her pain. “You don’t hit me but you do other things just as bad.”
    “Like what?”
    Regina was looking at my hands. I looked down myself to see clenched fists.
    “Last night,” she said. “What you call that?”
    “Call what?”
    “What you did to me. I didn’t want none’a you. But you made me. You raped me.”
    “Rape?” I laughed. “Man cain’t rape his own wife.”
    My laugh died when I saw the angry tears in Regina’s eyes.
    Edna stared at her mother wide-eyed, wondering who this new mother was.
    “An’ that ain’t all, Easy. I wanted to name our daughter Pontella after her great-grandmother. But you made us call her Edna. You said you just liked the name, but I know that you namin’ her after that woman yo’ crazy friend was married to.”
    She meant EttaMae.
    She