Where the Moon Isn't Read Online Free PDF Page B

yet.’
    I pass her back the empty mug, World’s Greatest Mum. I think of this and I am there again. She’s opening the door, reaching out her hand. I take it, and I am there.
    ‘No!’
    ‘Matthew, don’t answer me back. We need to go. We need to get you seen.’
    ‘No. I want Dad.’
    ‘Don’t be silly, he’s at work. Now you’re letting all the cold air inside. Stop it. We need to go.’
    Her grip is tight, but I’m stronger than she thinks. I pull back hard, and snag at her charm bracelet with the hook of my finger.
    ‘Now look what you’ve done. It’s broken.’ She bends over to pick up the fallen chain, with its tiny silver charms littering the ground. I push past her. I push her harder than I should. She loses balance, arms flapping like pigeon wings before she falls. ‘Matthew! Wait! What is it?’
    In a few strides I’m through the gate, slamming it behind me. I run as fast as I can, but she’s catching up. My foot skids off the pavement, I’m startled by the urgent blast from a speeding van.
    ‘Baby, wait. Please.’
    ‘No.’
    I take my chance, running across the main road, cutting between a line of cars, causing one to swerve. She’s forced to wait. I round the corner, and the next, and am at my school. ‘Is that you again, Matthew? Hey, it’s Matthew again. Look, his mum’s chasing him. His mum’s chasing him. Look! His mum’s chasing him!’
    I am ahead, and she is chasing. She’s crying out for me to stop. She’s calling me her baby. She’s calling me her baby boy. I stop. Turn around. Then fall into her arms.
    ‘Look at them. Look at them. Get a teacher, someone. Look at them.’ I am lifted from the ground, held by her. She is kissing my forehead and telling me that it will be okay. She’s carrying me, and I can feel her heartbeat through my stupid hood.
    ‘I’m so sorry, Mum. I’m so sorry.’
    ‘It’s okay baby boy.’
    ‘I miss him so much, Mum.’
    ‘I know you do. Oh, my baby. I know you do.’ She’s carrying me, and I can feel her heartbeat through my stupid hood.

 
    Children must be accompanied by an adult AT ALL TIMES
    In Bristol there is a famous bridge called the Clifton Suspension Bridge. It’s a popular hangout for the suicidal. There is even a notice on it with a telephone number for the Samaritans.
    When my mum first left school, before she met Dad, she worked doing paper filing at Rolls-Royce.
    It wasn’t a happy time because her boss was a horrible man who made her feel stupid and worthless. She wanted to quit, but was too worried to tell Granddad because he had wanted her to stay at school, and having a job was a condition of her leaving.
    She was riding back on her moped one evening, but when she reached home she didn’t stop.
    ‘I kept going,’ she told me. She perched on the edge of my bed in her nightgown, having woken me in the middle of the night to climb in beside me. She did that a lot.
    ‘I had nothing to live for,’ she whispered.
    ‘Are you okay, Mummy?’
    She didn’t know that she was going to the suspension bridge, but she was. She only realized, when she couldn’t find it.
    ‘I was lost.’
    ‘Should I get Dad?’
    ‘Let’s go to sleep.’
    ‘Are you sleeping here tonight?’
    ‘Am I allowed?’
    ‘Of course.’
    ‘I was lost,’ she whispered into the pillow. ‘I couldn’t even get that right.’

 
    dead people still have birthdays
    The night before my dead brother should have turned thirteen years old I was woken by the sound of him playing in his bedroom.
    I was getting better at picturing him in my mind. So I kept my eyes closed and watched as he reached beneath his bed and pulled out the painted cardboard box.
    These were his keepsakes, but if you’re like Simon, and the whole world is a place of wonder, everything is a keepsake. There were countless small plastic toys from Christmas crackers and McDonald’s Happy Meals. There were stickers from the dentist saying, I was brave , and stickers from the speech