Where Secrets Lie Read Online Free PDF Page B

hands.
    Sara was uncommunicative on the drive over, the whole day really. She assumed Brian noticed, and she was grateful he hadn’t asked her yet what was going on. Instead, he took his cue from her and remained silent.
    It felt odd being at the creek without talking. When they were here, they talked about everything that mattered, and sometimes they talked about nothing at all, but they always talked. They were open and at ease with each other here. Sara hoped that wasn’t about to end.
    She kept her eyes on the water. “I need to tell you something.”
    “ I know, I’ve been waiting all day.”
    Sara took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to say it.”
    “ It’s ok, there’s no hurry.”
    Without making a sound, tears began to roll down Sara’s cheeks. Brian moved closer but did not touch her.
    After several minutes, Sara said softly, “I’m pregnant.”
    Brian paled. “But… how… we’re always careful?”
    “ I know.”
    Sara couldn’t bring herself to expand any further. She’d spent countless hours contemplating how this could’ve happened, reminding herself condoms weren’t foolproof, and dreading Brian’s reaction to the rest of it.
    “ Are you sure? Maybe you’re just late?”
    “ I took a test,” she said.
    Brian was unaware what such a test entailed exactly and was reluctant to ask for details.
    “ I think it’s right,” Sara said. “I mean, it was pretty simple, I don’t think I could’ve messed it up.”
    “ I’m sure you didn’t.”
    Brian moved over until his thigh rested against hers. He put his arm around her waist. They were silent for a long time, bewildered by their own thoughts and apprehensive about each other’s.
    Through all the mental haze, one thing became clear to Brian. He wanted Sara to know she was not solely responsible. They were in this together.
    “ Sara, will you marry me?”
    Sara hesitated. “I can’t.”
    “ Why can’t you?”
    Instead of the explanatory words she hoped for, all Sara could muster were copious tears. Brian’s arm tightened around her waist, and he leaned his head against hers.
    “ I love you so much, Sara.”
    “ I know, I love you, too.” Too much to say what she needed to say.
    “ If you don’t want us to get married, does that mean you want to have an abortion?”
    “ No, but not because I think it’s wrong or anything. It just doesn’t feel, I don’t know, right somehow. You know what I mean?”
    “ Yeah, I think so.”
    “ Do you want me to have an abortion?”
    “ No, not unless you want to. I guess I figured it was up to you.”
    “ I guess it is, but I want to know what you think too.”
    It was such a relief to have someone caught up in all of this with her that Sara ignored her conscience’s pleas for full disclosure.
    Brian paused to consider what he thought. “It doesn’t feel right to me either. What about adoption?”
    “ Really? Adoption?”
    “ Yeah, why not?”
    “ I don’t know, something about it seems weird.”
    “ How’s it weird?”
    “ I just thought I’d either have the baby or I wouldn’t. I never thought about having it but not keeping it.”
    “ It’s an option.”
    “ I guess.”
    “ Not a good one though?”
    Were any of the options good ones? Not being pregnant at all was the only one that sounded good to her.
    “ Maybe we should think about it,” he said.
    “ Yeah, maybe.”
    Brian moved his arm from her waist to her shoulders and pulled her closer. Sara leaned her head against his chest.
    “ I really think we should get married,” he said.
    “ Brian—”
    “ Wait, hear me out. We love each other and none of the other options feel right. I think that’s because this is the right option. We should keep the baby. We should get married.”
    “ What about school?”
    “ We can still graduate.”
    “ I don’t mean high school, I mean college.”
    Their high school graduation was next month, and in the fall, they would both attend the University of Colorado.
    “