When to Rob a Bank: ...And 131 More Warped Suggestions and Well-Intended Rants Read Online Free PDF Page B

responding to the incentives the system puts before them.
    But what if, instead of paying politicians a flat rate for their work, thereby encouraging them to exploit their office for personal gains that may go against the collective good, we incentivized them to work hard for the collective good?
    How would I go about doing this? By offering politicians the equivalent of stock options in the legislation they produce. If an elected or appointed official works for years on a project that yields good outcomes in public health or education or transportation, let’s write them a big check five or ten years down the road, once those outcomes have been verified. What would you rather do: pay a U.S. secretary of education the standard $200,000 salary whether or not he does anything worthwhile—or write him a check for $5 million in ten years if his efforts actually manage to raise U.S. test scores by 10 percent?
    I have run this idea by a number of elected politicians. They do not think it is entirely crazy, or at least they are polite enough to pretend they don’t. I recently had the chance to talk through the idea with Senator John McCain. He listened carefully—nodding, smiling, the whole bit. I couldn’tbelieve how engaged he was. This only encouraged me to go on and on, in great detail. Finally, he reached to shake my hand. “That’s a neat idea, Steve,” he said, “and good luck to hell with that!”
    He turned and walked away, still smiling. I have never felt so good about being so fully rejected. I guess that’s what it takes to be a great politician.

CHAPTER 2
Limberhand the Masturbator and the Perils of Wayne

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    One great thing about starting a blog after you’ve written a book is that you can continue the conversation that the book began. A book, once it’s published, is pretty much set in stone. But the blog can be updated every day, every hour. Even better: you now have an army of book readers scouring the universe for stories that confirm (or refute) what you wrote in the book. Such was the case with a Freakonomics chapter called “Would a Roshanda by Any Other Name Smell as Sweet?” in which we explored the impact that a person’s name has on his or her life outcomes. No reader was more diligent in the pursuit of this idea than the woman who inspired the first post in this chapter.
The Next Time Your Daughter Brings Home a New Boyfriend, Be Sure to Ask His Middle Name
(SDL)
    I got an interesting a package in the mail recently. It came from a Texas woman named M. R. Stewart, who says she is a proud mother and a grandmother to four pit bulls.
    Ms. Stewart has an unusual hobby: clipping newspaper articles of a particular ilk. She sent me photocopies of her most recent finds, all from her local newspaper, over the past few years. The articles had two things in common:
             1. They were all reports of alleged crime.

             2. In each case, the alleged perpetrator’s middle name was Wayne.
    I have to say I was stunned by the number of examples; in order to protect the potentially innocent, I will obscure their last names:
             E RIC W AYNE XXXXXX: sex charges
             N ATHAN W AYNE XXXXXX: kidnapping and beating, homicide
             R ONALD W AYNE XXXXXX: triple homicide
             D AVID W AYNE XXXXXX: ten years for practicing nursing without a license
             L ARRY W AYNE XXXXXX: homicide
             P AUL W AYNE XXXXXX: theft
             M ICHAEL W AYNE XXXXXX: theft
             J EREMY W AYNE XXXXXX: homicide
             G ARRY W AYNE XXXXXX: knowingly having unprotected sex when HIV positive
             B RUCE W AYNE XXXXXX: homicide
             J OSHUA W AYNE XXXXXX: assault of officer
             B ILLY W AYNE XXXXXX: homicide
             B ILLY W AYNE XXXXXX: assault
             B ILLY W AYNE XXXXXX: attempted murder and robbery
             K ENNETH