When Smiles Fade Read Online Free PDF

against her fresh burns made her jump, but her mother held her in the tub, rubbing each of the sores until they were raw.
    “You need to be still, Emma,” she stated coldly. “We have to get these wounds cleaned out. There were bugs and rats in the basement and we wouldn’t want you to get an infection. I don’t want to have to bring you to the hospital looking like this. Besides, that would really piss off your father.”
    Weak and broken though she was at that moment Emma couldn’t help asking, “What really pisses you off, Mom? What else would he have to do to me to really piss you off?”
    Valerie averted her gaze, ignoring her question, and rubbed harder at the open wounds, hoping the increased pain would make her daughter shut her filthy mouth. Emma was always trying to make her feel guilty. She hated that about her oldest daughter, among other things.
    It was Gracie who broke the silence. “I’m sorry, Emma,” she said in a voice just above a whisper. “I’m so sorry he did this to you. It was all my fault. If I hadn’t peed on the floor, he would never have hurt you.” Gracie reached into the water and hugged her big sister, whispering in her ear, “No one loves me like you do, Emma. I hate him too. I hate him just as much as you do.”
    After her bath, Emma dressed and settled into her bed, pulling the covers up over her head in a feeble attempt to block out the world. When dinner was over that night, Gracie came up to their bedroom, reached into her jeans pocket, and pulled out a crumbling slice of bread. She handed it to Emma. “I snuck this in my pocket for you.”
    Without a word Emma grabbed the bread from her sister’s hand and gobbled it down. Afterward, Emma managed to give her sister a small smile. Gracie went into the bathroom and got a cup of water for her sister to drink. When she had finished the last drop, she turned to her frail baby sister.
    “It’s going to be all right, Gracie,” she whispered reassuringly. “I’ll figure something out. And it wasn’t your fault. He’s the one to blame for this, okay?”
    Gracie nodded, tears of guilt rolling down her cheeks. Emma was the only one who was willing to protect her. Emma loved Gracie as fiercely as she hated her father, for instinct told the twelve-year-old that what had been done to her sister and her over the years was not only cruel but perverse. They had to escape.

Chapter Six
    By the time Christmas break was over and school started again, Emma’s burns had healed enough to be barely noticeable. Emotionally, however, she was mentally damaged and still recovering from the torment her father had put her through in the basement.
    Over time, the girl seemed to grow numb to all feeling toward her parents, except for the seed of animosity that had been sown years earlier and had blossomed into an intense hatred for them. She found herself slipping into a morbid frame of mind. She felt isolated from the rest of humanity, and each morning she woke disappointed that God had allowed her to live another day. She often sat on her bed, where Gracie played next to her, wondering what it was about her that made her father hate her so much. She searched for an answer that would make Pepper see that she was worth loving.
    Emma still spent what precious free time she had with Mrs. Tisdale, often taking Gracie along with her so that she, too, could enjoy the comfort and love the old woman so generously provided them. Mrs. Tisdale continued to instill in Emma the courage to go on, and when the child mentioned her hatred for her father, she heard her out patiently. In her infinite wisdom, Mrs. Tisdale did not try to persuade Emma to love a man who caused her such grief just because he happened to be her father. Of course, Emma kept much of her suffering to herself. Had she divulged the gory details of all the cruelties inflicted on her, Mrs. Tisdale might have felt compelled to alert the authorities. Aware of this risk, Emma disclosed only as