When Horses Had Wings Read Online Free PDF Page B

twilight sleep and dreamed I’d fallen overboard from a ship. Above, passengers milled around, sipping cocktails, and nibbling hors d’oeuvres. “Hey!” I called. “Down here! Help!” Didn’t anyone notice the woman bobbing in the waters below? Why didn’t somebody hear or see me?
    Caught up in the vessel’s wake, helpless, I watched the crew sailing farther away. Darkness rendered me invisible as the ship drifted beyond any chance of reach.
    A sudden sting in my right side startled me from the nightmare. Five a.m.
    Soon Momma would be awake. She’d rise to make Daddy’s, and later Ricky’s, breakfast, though it was Saturday, and she could sleep in if she wanted. If only I could get to her, everything would be better.
    Momma was a creature of habits, mostly good ones, a woman to whom routine brought security and a sense of purpose. She was predictable to a fault. And in my immediate need, I recognized that predictable meant reliable, too.
    “Kenny!” I pushed him hard. “I need to go to Momma’s.”
    “Hmm? What?” He peered at me through narrow slits. “You wanna go to your momma’s? Now? What time is it?” He propped himself on one elbow and then collapsed back onto the mattress.
    “It’s five o’clock. I’ve been awake all night.” A pain stole my next breath, spiraling through my chest and ribs. “Please.” My voice weakened and climbed to a new range. “I need to see Momma. Please, get up and take me there, then you can come home and go back to sleep.”
    Kenny rose, becoming a bit more coherent. “Aw-right, aw-right,” he growled. “Just let me get dressed first. If that ain’t asking too much.” He scratched his buttocks and then shimmied into yesterday’s crumpled uniform. “Might as well wear this, bein’ as how you’re making me work on a Saturday.”
    By the time we arrived at Momma’s, another hour had passed. She took one look at me and asked, “When did you have your first pains?”
    “Around ten o’clock.”
    “Ten o’clock?” She looked confused. “Last night?” Her normally stoic expression evaporated. “And you’re just now thinking of going to the hospital?”
    How could I tell her that I’d married a deadbeat, a good-for-nothing, irritable oaf who bullied and ignored me? How could I let anyone know that I’d pulled this guy out of the gene pool and chosen him, of all the men in Limestone County—not that there was a large selection to choose from—to father my child? What kind of statement would that make about me? I’d only end up looking more foolish and wretched than Kenny, if such a thing were possible.
    “I didn’t believe, right away, that it was labor.” Something warm and moist escaped from underneath my housecoat before I could finish explaining. I stared with disbelief at what had broken free and pooled beneath me. It didn’t look like pee with all that white stringy stuff laced through it. Nothing had strained the liquid. I hadn’t bothered to put on any underwear because I’d feared I might go full-circle and wind up giving birth right where I’d conceived: in the back seat of Kenny’s car.
    Momma grabbed a dishtowel from her kitchen counter and threw it at me.
    I paused, not knowing whether to clean up the mess I’d made or wedge the cloth between my thighs. Before I could decide, another spurt gushed out.
    “You take off,” Momma ordered Kenny. She snared her purse from the kitchen table. “I’m right behind you.”
     
    ~
     
    At the hospital, Momma sat with me in a holding room where I remained until my baby’s head crowned. “This’ll soon be over and you’ll have a beautiful baby to hold,” she cooed. But I didn’t care if I delivered a possum or if I croaked right then and there. Whatever it took to stop this backbreaking punishment, I’d have gladly welcomed. I considered my limited options. I couldn’t afford anesthesia. And to my dismay, no one would administer a lethal injection.
    My parents were the only ones