When Fangirls Cry Read Online Free PDF

forcing the door open if you don’t come out in three seconds, Saffi.” Steel spoke the words matter-of-factly, and Saffi knew her oldest brother meant it. He always meant what he said. She wished she could be like him.
                She wished she had been like him from the very start.
                Three seconds passed, and Steel kicked the door open. Staffan was going to wonder about that, she thought absently as Steel knelt down next to her with a curse. Staffan thought she was with her family, but she wasn’t. She couldn’t be with them, didn’t dare go home until she was sure of what to say or do if, as Staffan would so aptly put it, the shit hit the fucking fan.
                A hysterical choking laugh escaped Saffi at the thought.
    Saffi’s brother carefully drew her in his arms. “Saffi.” Steel’s voice was bleak.
                “I’m scared,” she whispered. “What if Dad loses the election again because of me, like he did the last time? What if Staffan doesn’t believe me when I tell him the baby’s his?”
                “You have to tell him the truth, Saffi. I can kill this story for now – but I can’t do it indefinitely. It will go out sooner or later.”
                “We just got back together again. He loves me…I know he does, but what if he’s not ready for a baby? He’s at the peak of his career---”
                “If he loves you as you say he does, then his career will not be more important than your unborn child.” Jeremy’s cold voice was accented, betraying the exotic lineage he had tried his very best to bury for so many years.
                Saffi clutched Steel’s arm, her nails digging unconsciously into his skin. “Please, Steel. Please kill the story – kill every story until I can make myself tell him. Please .”
                Pulling his sister closer, hating the frailness of her body, Steel pressed a kiss on her forehead. “You don’t even have to ask, baby. I’ll do everything in my power to protect you.”
                But she didn’t seem to hear him. Saffi was crying too hard, her body shaking at the strength of her silent sobs. “Please,” she begged over and over. “I don’t want to lose him. Please. He’s everything to me. Everything . I can’t lose him again.”
                Steel murmured comforting words even as he lifted his sister into his arms and carried her to bed. “I promise, baby, I promise.”
                When Saffi woke up, her brother and Jeremy were gone, leaving a sweet note asking her to take care next to the bottle of prenatal vitamins she was supposed to take daily. Saffi groped for her phone, her heart beating madly. The first message was from Staffan, telling her that he had tried to call her twice but figured she was already asleep and that he would see her soon. She then switched to her phone’s browser.
                Please, please, please---
                She sagged back against the bed when there was no mention of her, Jeremy, or her condition.
                The next day, Staffan’s curse woke her, followed by the crash of her bathroom door, which she had forgotten to have maintenance repair. “What the fuck, Saffi?”
                Staffan was back. Staffan was cursing. It was morning!
    Even with her eyes itchy from sleep, Saffi grabbed her phone, her heart beating madly in her chest. It was seven in the morning – late enough that the newspapers should be out by now. She scrolled through the headlines, but there was still no news about her, Jeremy, or her… condition. For now, that was how she wanted to think of it.
                She moved on to the next page, but there was still nothing that would destroy her world.
                Saffi collapsed against the bed, shaking with relief.
                She was safe for