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our bed and gripped the side rail, trying to muster up the courage to tell Matt that this was our last morning together, that in a couple of hours, Justin was picking me up and I was going to join the military and leave forever. I wasn’t strong enough to tell him, and that sickened me. I was strong enough to survive Mom’s wrath and lack of love, to leave her home, graduate high school, get a scholarship to college, but I couldn’t utter a few sentences to the man who took me in and saved me?
    “You aren’t ready yet?” Matt had just come out of the bathroom and my heart skipped a beat when I looked at him; his was hair slicked back on his head and his tall, lanky body leaned against the doorway in a pair of jeans, work boots, and a red button-down shirt. His eyes seemed to pierce right into my soul as he searched my face for a reason as to why I was still in my pajamas.
    “I…I’m not feeling too well,” I stammered. “Do you mind if I just take it easy this morning?” Matt’s brow furrowed in concern and he walked over to me and put his hand on my forehead. “You don’t feel feverish or anything,” he said.
    “It’s my stomach, must have been something I ate,” I told him, feeling guiltier by the second. TELL HIM! my mind screamed. You are so weak! Tell him, give him that much!
    Matt took his hand off of my forehead and leaned over to give me a kiss on the cheek. “I’m gonna take off then. Love you; see you in a little bit.”
    And like that he was gone. I couldn’t even tell him I loved him back before he left or give him one last kiss on the lips before I saw him walk out the bedroom door. Am I doing the right thing? I know he still loves me, he has to! This could work, I could make it work! I didn’t want to fail at my relationship, but I knew deep down that if I stayed with Matt I would be just as lonely and miserable as Mom was on the farm where she inflicted so much pain on me as a child. Maybe I really was a bad child and it wasn’t all Mom’s fault. What if she was as lonely as I am right now?
    I couldn’t turn into Mom and I couldn’t put Matt through what Mom had put Richard through. My mind had been made up, and in less than two hours Justin would pick me up and take me to another place where I could have the chance to start over and begin to find out who Sarah Burleton really was. I needed to find answers to my past and find my own path to the future, and I knew in my heart I wouldn’t find those answers if I stayed with Matt.
    In less than half an hour I had all of my possessions packed up into two Hefty bags. As I lugged them to the door I was reminded of the day I moved out of Mom and Richard’s house, hauling my two Hefty bags of clothes down the street, block by block, to start my new life. Here I was again, over a year later, running away with two Hefty bags, desperate to start a new life somewhere else.
    I spent the last hour at Matt’s house alone in the kitchen with a pad of paper and a pencil trying my put into words my gratitude for everything he had done for me and how sorry I was for everything I had done to him. The words wouldn’t come and I couldn’t write what I wanted to without coming off as a cold-hearted witch who walked out on the man who took care of her when she needed it the most.
    I heard Justin’s car pull up into Matt’s driveway and he honked the horn. Hastily, I ripped off a piece of paper and scribbled, “I’m sorry, please forgive me. Love, Sarah.” picked up my bags and walked out the front door. Justin shut off the engine, got out of the driver’s seat, and popped open the trunk for me to put my bags into. “He isn’t here, is he?” Justin asked, looking around nervously.
    “No, he’s not here.” I replied sadly as I hoisted my clothes into Justin’s trunk. Justin patted me on the back and said, “It’s going to be OK, trust me!”
    I shut the trunk lid, shrugged my shoulders, and said, “I’ve got no one else to trust. Let’s