Wellington Cross (Wellington Cross Series) Read Online Free PDF Page B

looking for me at all?  Were they even alive? 
     
    Spring came early, and Jefferson began to get restless of
waiting for me to make a decision.  He proclaimed that a June wedding
would be just the thing.  He offered to buy me a new dress or that I could
wear the blue one he’d already gotten me, if I preferred it.  I still
could not think about being romantically involved with Jefferson when my heart
tugged me in another direction.  In the direction of a man whose face I
could not remember but whose voice would forever haunt my memory.  I had
to find out what happened to him before I could marry Jefferson.
    I had many conversations with Mrs. Washington about Jefferson
and also about the man I hoped to find.  I also told her about the dreams
I’d had of my childhood and my two friends.  She was very supportive and
wise, telling me that I shouldn’t marry Jefferson if it didn’t feel right in my
heart, that they loved having me with them and I was welcome to stay there as
long as I wanted to.
    Jefferson had told me stories about us before I lost my memory,
none of which gave me any visions or real memories, nothing that seemed
familiar.  One warm day in May, while we sat in new chairs on his
river-front porch looking over the river, he once again asked me for a
date.  “June’s coming up on us real quick, darlin’.  When are you
going to do me a favor and marry me?  I need a woman here to help me run
this plantation.”
    I sighed.  “I don’t know, Jefferson.  I—” Before I
could say anything else, he leaned over from his chair and kissed me hard on
the mouth.  I tried to protest, but he took it to mean I was enjoying the
kiss and began to kiss me in earnest, his arms going tightly around mine. 
In the middle of the kiss, I got another vision of this same man trying to kiss
me in the past. 
    We’d been in some sort of gazebo or porch overlooking the river,
but not at this plantation.  He’d snuck up on me and turned me around and
kissed me solidly before I had a chance to react.  I pushed him away quickly. 
He said, “Aw, just a little kiss?  It’s been a very long time since I’ve
been with a woman, especially one as pretty as you.”  I continued to
protest, and he ceased his advancements.  Finally, a memory of Jefferson,
but it wasn’t a pleasant one. 
    I pushed Jefferson back forcefully with my arms and stood up to
get him off of me.  “This has to stop immediately!”  I yelled. 
He looked shocked for a moment, but then stood up, regaining his composure.
    “Madeline, what’s wrong?  I’ve been a perfect gentleman
through this whole thing, and you’ve been encouraging me along like we had a
chance for a future together.  Don’t you feel anything for me at all?”
    I stood there overlooking the water, and I knew I had to break
it off with him then.  I just didn’t feel anything for him, didn’t feel
that longing that I had felt for the man in my memory.  I wouldn’t be
satisfied until I found that man…if I ever did find him.  It may have been
a foolish decision, but I had to go with my heart on this very important decision. 
I didn’t want a life of misery, always wondering what could have been. 
Living with a man I didn’t love, looking at him with disgust and resentment
years down the road.  I turned to face him. 
    “No, I don’t, Jefferson.  I don’t at all.  You’re a
very nice man, but…”  I was frightened to tell him about the one I longed
for in my heart, but I could not think of another way to get him to finally
leave me be.  “I have strong feelings for another man in my heart.  I
don’t know what happened to him, but I do remember that I had great affection
for him, before I lost my memory.  I do apologize, Jefferson.  I just
don’t think we should see each other anymore.  I think that’s only fair to
you.”
    His worried face turned dark and angry.  He gritted his
teeth and clenched his jaw, turning to look out at the river.