We Are Both Mammals Read Online Free PDF Page B

know that you feel very
ill nowadays. Are you all right?”
    I pondered the question. Was I all
right?
    At the moment? Not really.
    In general? Not at all.
    After a pause, during which I said nothing
and gave no outward acknowledgement of his question, Toro-a-Ba
added, “I understand that you may not wish to converse at the
moment, nor indeed for some time to come; however, I would like you
to know that when you are ready, I should very much like to talk
with you … Daniel.”
    He was using my given name to address me;
something that the thurga-a only do when they are very intimate
with a human. In Thurga-to, the word that describes what we would
call, in English, a ‘given name’ or ‘first name’ literally means
‘an intimate name’ or ‘a personal name’. They have another word
that means ‘a private name’, and that is the third name in a
thurga’s appellation; a third name which is rarely given in
introductions but is reserved for the bearer to reveal at will to
certain persons of their choosing: soulmates, children, close
friends … Distantly, I remembered being told at the Academy where I
had done my technology training that most thurga-a have only half a
dozen people in their lives with whom they would use these private
names. The outworking of this is that when thurga-a address humans,
they treat a human’s given name as that ‘private name’, and use the
surname – usually with an honorific – as the ‘personal
name’.
    He always pronounced my name perfectly, too:
not shortening the name to two syllables – ‘dan-yul’ – as most
people do, but pronouncing all three mellifluously, making the
ordinary, ancient name sound positively elegant. ‘Danny-el’.
    The creature’s voice was always very gentle
and soft, and he spoke mildly, clearly and thoughtfully. At first I
had wondered if this was, at least in part, deference to my weak,
shocked state, but I had learned as the weeks went on that this was
simply Toro-a-Ba’s manner.
    This was my twin. This was my new constant
companion: a creature who talked like a poet or an English
professor. I could almost have laughed, with more than a little
hysteria, but any movement of my abdomen typically resulted in pain
and nausea, so I remained still.
    “ I know that you are in
shock,” the thurga continued softly. “I understand how
– horrifying this must be for you.”
    I said nothing.
    There was a pause.
    Then Toro-a-Ba murmured, “I am not sure what
humans believe in this regard, but thurga-a have always believed
that all life is interrelated. All life is special, sacred, worth
preserving and honouring. No creature should be thrown away unless
it is poisoning the web.”
    He paused again. Still I had not so much as
glanced at him.
    “ Daniel, I do not know how
you feel or what you are thinking,” he said slowly. “But I hope you
understand that we need not be aliens to each other. We are
different species, but I believe that we have more in common than
you may have considered.”
    I swallowed, teeth and fists clenched,
fighting the nausea that seemed to seize upon me every other moment
these days. “Like what?” I asked flatly.
    “ We are both mammals,” the
thurga offered.
    I turned to my left and vomited again,
freely.
     
    –––––––
     
    As the days passed, I found myself spending more time
awake, and more clear-headed. I became more able to keep water down
instead of vomiting it up. Slowly, the nausea abated.
    Wakefulness was not more pleasant than
sleep, however.
    Sleep can be many things. A hindrance; a
waste of time; a delay, a necessary inconvenience … a refuge, a
relief, a respite. It can be healing or wearying, disappointing or
refreshing.
    When I was awake, I began to long for it,
for when I was asleep I did not have to think.
    One night, it would not seem to come to me.
I had now been lying in a hospital bed for almost five weeks. I
could scarcely remember what it felt like to be well. Pain,