filled the smoky
air and bodies moved together on the dance floor, against walls and over a pool
table. He envied the freedom they had. It was part of the lure of the club.
They did what they wanted, when they wanted and only answered to one another.
He’d lost the ability to live by that code when the fire ruined him. Revealing
his scars was more than a sore point—it’d been a joy killer.
There
was nothing worse than knowing something about you sucked the happiness out of
everyone else. The life could be more than hard and it left plenty of scars and
ruined lives in its wake. If you didn’t keep up, you ended up road kill
underneath the tires, because the machine never stopped for anyone. He moved
around the couple fucking up against the wall and escaped into the quiet of his
room in the middle of the hallway. The door shut with a definitive click and he
leaned against it.
Symone
had him off his game and he couldn’t even pinpoint why. Infuriated by his
involuntary infatuation, he plopped down on the bed. Expectations were a
dangerous thing to have, because they could lead to horrible disappointment. He
tucked his hands behind his head and thought back to the time when he was Hayes
instead of Monster and Pan was Hartley .
To
the night that changed everything…
* * * *
“Great,
he’s drunk again,” Hayes said. He plopped back on his
bed and tossed a baseball into the air, catching it over and over as he tried
to block out the yelling coming through the paper thin walls.
“When
isn’t he?” Hartley asked. “Let’s face it, he’s getting worse, not better.”
“Yeah,
Pres ain’t going to like it.”
“Only
reason he gives a shit is because Dad’s been fucking up. He’s letting the
bottle get the best of him. If you can’t be accountable, Pres is going to step
in and make you be,” Hartley said.
“Good,
then maybe we could get some sleep.” Hayes glanced over at his brother and
exchanged a look full of understanding. If he laid into their mom again, they
were stepping in.
Their
mother was a soft-spoken, brunette with a wide smile, easy-going manner, and gentle
spirit. Her petite frame and mild temperament made her an easy target.
Arthritis
had set -in and the constant pain turned their father, Freebird, to drinking. The
worse the rheumatoid arthritis grew, the more he self-medicated. Without the
ability to ride as he once had, their light- hearted father had slowly morphed
into their worst nightmare. Glass shattered.
“Stop
it, you’ll wake the boys.”
“You
think they’re stupid or deaf?” The wall shook under the impact of what Hayes
assumed was his father’s fist against the wall. “I’m sick of being stuck inside
these four walls with you. It’s not the life I wanted. You make me sick.”
“What
do you want me to do, Freebird? Just tell me.”
“You
can’t give me what I need, Regina. You can’t be the open road or the lady I’ve
always loved most.”
Hayes
looked at Hartley. He was referring to his bike. His stomach cramped. His
father sounded less angry and more broken.
The
brokenhearted sobs that left their mother ripped at his heart. She didn’t deserve
this. For their entire lives, she’d been the one consistent thing. Freebird was
in and out on the wind, living the life of an outlaw while they were left
behind. It seemed cool from a distance. He used to aspire to be just like him.
Then this happened, and he was forced to see the ravaging effects the club
could have. The sounds of their father’s boots leaving the kitchen relaxed him.
It was over for tonight.
Hayes
rolled onto this side to keep Hartley from striking up a conversation. There
were no words to make this situation better. Their mother wasn’t going to leave,
and their father couldn’t overcome the disease that’d crept in and stole the
use of his hands. As the time continued to pass, he’d get worse and worse.
Anger swelled in his chest. Being young made you useless. I can’t get