Waking Lazarus Read Online Free PDF Page B

not me. I think, maybe because I didn’t really know anyone who had died. So it was just this person, standing there in the light. And I couldn’t get a good look at him anyway. He was just a dark shadow, with light all around him. But he knew my name.’’
    ‘‘You’re kidding.’’
    ‘‘No. He said: ‘Jude, it’s not your time. You have to go back.’ And I didn’t want to, you know? It was like I was really tired, and he was telling me I couldn’t sleep. I asked him why, and he said, ‘Your purpose.’ So I asked him about my purpose.’’
    Kevin leaned in closer. ‘‘Yeah? What was it?’’
    ‘‘He said, ‘You have to let Kevin Burkhart know he doesn’t stand a chance with Carol Blades.’ ’’
    Kevin blinked, then reached across the gulf between them and punched Jude’s shoulder. ‘‘That wasn’t funny.’’
    Jude was doubled over, partly because he was laughing, partly because Kevin’s punch was harder than he expected. He looked up again, and he could see genuine disappointment in his friend’s eyes.
    At that moment his perspective on dying slipped into perfect balance, and he understood it would always haunt him. He realized he could never outrun it. Or the questions it elicited. He saw how he would always have to handle these questions, whether from strangers, family, or friends. He would have to be reverent. And he would have to avoid the truth. He would never tell anyone what really happened on the other side (make that Other Side), because people didn’t want the truth. They just wanted the hope. That was why it could never be a joking matter, not even with his closest friend.
    Jude had hurt Kevin, and he felt like an idiot for not having understood all this sooner.
    ‘‘Look. I’m sorry. Really, I was just dinkin’ around with you.’’
    ‘‘Forget about it,’’ Kevin answered as he started picking up his backpack.
    ‘‘No, really.’’ Jude put his hand on Kevin’s shoulder, the kind of physical contact normally uncomfortable between sixteen-year-old boys. It had its desired effect: Kevin stopped and looked at him.
    Jude took away his hand quickly. ‘‘I wasn’t kidding you about the rest of it. The light, the man, all that. He told me I had a purpose. Everyone has a purpose. And look, I’m gonna tell you something I’ve never told anyone before. Not even my mother.’’
    Kevin was listening again.
    ‘‘He said it’s much better than this life.’’
    ‘‘Really? He said that?’’
    ‘‘He said it.’’
    That was when the first peal of thunder rolled toward them.
    They hadn’t noticed the clouds moving in, the kind of bruise-colored clouds that throw bolts of lightning in long, hot, jagged flashes. The thunder caught them by surprise, and they both looked heavenward at nearly the same moment. Instantly they knew they were somewhere they shouldn’t be.
    They shouldered their packs again and started back down the trail, just shy of running. But the thunder ran faster, rolling over them like giant ocean waves. Then they didn’t just hear the storm. They saw it. Flashes illuminated the forest floor as lightning stepped across valleys, striding ever closer.
    The forest trail opened into a small meadow, and they stopped to look at each other. They panted as they studied the meadow and considered their unspoken thoughts. Staying near trees was a bad idea. The giant pines reached toward the sky and begged for lightning strikes. At the same time, neither of them wanted to be the highest point in a flat meadow when the lightning decided to stomp.
    ‘‘Maybe we should try to crawl,’’ Kevin finally offered. Jude swallowed hard, feeling as though he could taste the hot, dry lightning in his mouth. He nodded.
    Because it was Kevin’s idea, he went first, moving on all fours but keeping his body off the ground; if lightning hit them, they knew it would cook the parts of their bodies touching the ground. Hands and legs could sear and the body might survive.