Waiting to Believe Read Online Free PDF Page B

that says I should do this.”
    Two Spot swung her head around, nudging Kacey to continue brushing. Kenneth searched her face. He didn’t know how to proceed. “Do you want to do this, Kacey? I’m confused.”
    She moved around to Two Spot’s other side. “It’s what I think I should do. Need to do, you know? But it’s not real clear to me how it’s happened. I’ve never really had a very personal connection to God.”
    â€œKacey!”
    â€œIt’s true, Dad. I feel a stronger connection with Sister Evangeline or Sister Mary Margaret. They’re strong women. Role models for me. I want to be like them.”
    She turned to her perplexed father. “When I think about my life, what I want to do, I just get stuck. I guess that’s where God comes in.” She fell silent, looking at the man she both loved and feared. She wanted to cry out to him for help. But not even he, with all his power, could help her.
    Finally, she laid the brush on the bench, shaking her head slowly as she gave Two Spot a pat before walking from the stall. There would be no more talk tonight. Kenneth, still puzzled, realized it, too. But he felt relief sweep over him. “C’mon, Kace. Let’s get some ice cream.”
    Kacey sat alone at the kitchen table, empty ice cream bowl still in front of her. It was after ten, and the house had quieted down. Sleep was still far off for her.
    She needed to do one more thing. Picking up the phone, she dialed the Saunders’ number. “Greg? I need to talk to you. Can you meet me at the glen?”
    â€œI’ll be right there!” Kacey could hear his excitement. She grimaced.
    She was waiting for him when she saw the headlights of his truck jumping down the bumpy road. Sitting on the ground, leaning against a massive oak, her knees were pulled up in front of her, arms tight around them.
    He hurried from the truck, smiling. She rose as he loped up to her. “Was I glad to get your call!”
    He reached out his arms, but she avoided his embrace. “I’ve got something to tell you,” she said. Taking his hand, she pulled him down to sit beside her in the grass.
    â€œWhat?” His smile disappeared.
    â€œYou got the wrong idea from my call. I don’t know how else to do this but just to blurt it out.” She swallowed. “I’ve made up my mind what I want to do in the fall. I’m not going to college.” He frowned. She plunged ahead. “I’ve decided to enter Blessed Sacrament Convent.”
    She heard a sharp intake of breath. “Kacey, what in the world—” He stopped himself. “Kacey.”
    His hand had slipped from hers, but she took it back. “I know this is a shock.”
    â€œI had no idea! You’ve never said a word!”
    â€œI know, I know. I’ve wanted to talk to you about it, but I haven’t talked to anyone.”
    â€œBut—”
    She interrupted him. “I didn’t handle it well. I see that. I kept waiting till I was sure, and then when I was, I didn’t know how to tell you.” She paused. “You know how much I’ve cared for you. Still care for you.”
    He shook his head slowly. “A nun. I can’t believe it,” he repeated.
    â€œOh, Greg, I’m sorry.” She reached up to stroke his cheek. Then, pulling him to her, she buried her face in his shoulder. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
    She didn’t turn on lights as she made her way through the dark house to her room. Her body felt weary, heavy. So did her heart.

    From down the hall, she heard the rumble of her father’s snoring, her mother’s uneven breathing. But sleep wouldn’t come to Kacey. She played and replayed the events of the day. She tried to recall exactly what she had said. Something about wanting to do good. Oh, there’s got to be more to it than that!
    Feeling a chill, she pulled the thin summer