Voices of Silence Read Online Free PDF Page B

that fateful morn
    When, truss’d for shearing in a stranger’s shop,
    ‘Be careful, please,’ I said, ‘I want it shorn
    Close round the ears, but leave it long on top’;
    And, thrilling with a pleasant pride of race,
    I watched the fellow’s homely British face.
    An optimist he was. ‘Those German brutes,
    They’ll get wot for. You mark my words,’ he said,
    And dragged great chunks of hair out by the roots,
    Forgetting mine was not a German head.
    ‘Oh, yes, they’ll get it in the neck,’ said he,
    And gaily emphasized his prophecy.
    Ah me, that ruthless Britisher! He scored
    His parallel entrenchments round and round
    My quivering scalp. ‘Invade us ’ere?’ he roared;
    ‘Not bloomin’ likely! Not on British ground!’
    His nimble scissors left a row of scars
    To point the prowess of our gallant Tars.
    I bore it without movement, save a start
    Induc’d by one shrewd gash behind the ear.
    With silent fortitude I watch’d him part
    The ruin on my skull. And then a tear,
    A fat, round tear, well’d up from either eye –
    O traitorous tribute to the local spy!
    R.A. Thorold
    Ten Little Germans
    Ten little Germans marching in a line,
    Thought they’d march thro’ Belgium – then there were nine;
    Nine little Germans gave vent to their hate,
    Tommy A. got on their track – then there were eight;
    Eight little Germans, generalled from Heaven,
    Chased the Allies to the Marne – then there were seven;
    Seven little Germans, in a nasty fix
    Had to fight a battle there – then there were six;
    Six little Germans, only just alive,
    Made a dash for Calais – then there were five;
    Five little Germans thro’ the French line tore,
    Ran against the British – then there were four;
    Four little Germans, sniping in a tree,
    One was soon located – then there were three;
    Three little Germans, in a fearful stew,
    Thought they’d have a right bust up – then there were two;
    Two little Germans, tired of all the fun,
    Desperately tried again – then were was one;
    One little German, whose little game is done,
    Send him to the hangman – then there will be none;
    No little Germans to make our lives a pest,
    Peace will once more reign supreme – then we can have a rest.
    [There once was a Ruler enraged]
    There once was a Ruler enraged, when his troops in retreat were engaged;
    He tore off his boots, and subsisted on roots,

    That irascible Ruler enraged.
    Kaiser Bill
Tune: Jack and Jill
    Kaiser Bill once climbed a hill
    And saw the cliffs of Dover.
    Said he: ‘What fun
    To get a gun
    And send some big shells over.
    It will be grand with my German Band
    To occupy these islands’.
    He forgot for a second,
    Or never had reckoned,
    He’d meet with some men from the Highlands.
    So with his son and a great big gun
    He started off for Calais.

    He smiled a smile,
    He thought by guile
    He’d keep the Belgians pally;
    But King Albert swore by the crown he wore
    To fight his people’s cause.

    So the Kaiser found
    He’d to go to ground,
    And there he’s had to pause.
    Old Von Kluck, who was sent to chuck
    The French all out of Paris,

    Met General French,
    With some men in a trench,
    And got stuck up at Arras.
    Von Hinderman said, ‘I’ll not rest in my bed,
    Till at Warsaw I call a halt’;
    But he’s not there yet,
    Nor likely to get,
    But he says it’s the Russians’ fault.
    Von Tirpitz, they say, is an Admiral gay,
    And commands the German Navy.
    But somehow they feel,
    When they come out from Kiel,
    They will go down to Jones – first name Davy.
    A ship or two came into view,
    In the seas off Falkland Island;
    But Sturdee was there
    And took good care
    To blow them up to Skyland.
    The Kaiser’s dream, so it would seem,
    To be Lord of all creation,
    Was stopped quite short
    By a loud report
    When he got to Ypres Station.
    For there he found his men half drowned,
    And it nearly made him balmy,
    To find that the trenches
    That stopped him held French’s
    Contemptible little army.
    The Kaiser thought