Victoria Victorious: The Story of Queen Victoria Read Online Free PDF Page B

it was only the King who called himself King.
    “You must learn not to make foolish interjections,” said Mama, quivering more than before. “The fact is we are going to Windsor. I shall insist that we are treated with due respect. Hold your head up. Have you been wearing your holly necklace?”
    “Yes, Mama, but I think I can manage without it.”
    “It does not appear to be so.
I
shall decide when you may dispense with it. Why are you not wearing it now?”
    “Lehzen said that when I was playing with the dolls I could leave it off.”
    She was referring to the sprig of holly attached to a cord that I had to wear around my neck to induce me to hold my head high, for when I did not my chin came into contact with the prickles. It was a form of torture that I greatly disliked, and whenever I could I would inveigle Lehzen into letting me go without it.
    I could see that Mama's annoyance with me was really her dislike of the King; but at the same time she was pleased that he had invited us to Windsor.
    She looked at her elder daughter and said, “You shall accompany us, Feodore.”
    “That will be lovely, won't it, Sissy?” I said.
    Feodore hugged me. I sometimes felt that she wanted to protect me from Mama's severity.
    “You will enjoy the visit,” she said.
    “Yes, especially if you are there.”
    Mama softened a little. She liked to see the affection between us two.
    “Well then,” she went on. “I shall make plans. Victoria, you must remember to behave perfectly so that there can be no criticism. The King is very insistent on good manners. It is the one virtue he himself has managed to retain. People will be watching you. Any little slip will be noticed, you can be sure. There will be malicious eyes on you and tongues to wag if you misbehave.”
    I was already beginning to feel nervous. But Feodore pressed my hand reassuringly and I thought: She will be there, so it will be all right.
    That this was a most important visit was obvious. Mama might express her contempt for all my paternal uncles—the King amongthem—but when all was said and done he
was
the King and we were all—even Mama—his subjects.
    Lehzen tried to prepare me.
    At Windsor Lodge, where I should be presented to the King, I should meet a lady in his company whom it would be quite important not to offend.
    “A lady? Do you mean the Queen, Lehzen?”
    “Well no… not the Queen, a lady. Lady Conyngham. She is a very great friend of the King.”
    “I do know that the King and Queen don't like each other very much.”
    Lehzen looked alarmed. “You must never say anything about that.” There were times when she was afraid she had told me too much. I was beginning to recognize signs like that.
    “You may be surprised when you see the King,” she went on. “He is rather old.”
    “Yes, Lehzen, I know. Mama has often said so.”
    Lehzen looked even more alarmed. “You must guard your tongue. It would be wise to speak only when the King speaks to you and then only answer what he asks.”
    I was beginning to feel more and more nervous.
    “Don't worry,” said Feodore. “Say what is natural to you. I am sure that will be all right.”
    Dear, comforting Feodore!
    When we were riding in the carriage on the way to Windsor Lodge, Mama was giving instructions. “I hope you have practiced your curtsy. You must be grave. Do not laugh in that really vulgar way you seem to be developing … showing all your gums. Smile. Just lift the corners of your mouth … and remember that although he is the King, you are royal too.”
    “Yes, Mama…Yes, Mama…”
    I really was not listening. I was admiring the countryside and wondering what Uncle King would be like, and why there was all this pursing of the lips when Lady Conyngham and her family—who seemed to live at Windsor Lodge with the King—were mentioned. I would ask Lehzen. No, not Lehzen. She could be reticent at times. I would ask my other governess Baroness Spath…or Feodore. How wonderful to