Victoria Confesses (9781442422469) Read Online Free PDF

Abbey. They would walk ahead of me, signaling to everyone that they ranked higher than I did.
    This angered Mamma. “Parliament has recognized that you are the heir apparent, Victoria, and you should walk ahead of the dukes, not behind them. I find this insulting, and I will not allow you to be insulted.”
    There was scarcely anything on which King William and Mamma agreed, and this was just one more sticking point. I blamed Sir John for much of it; he had convinced Mamma to stand firm when it would have been better to compromise. But there was one subject on which I did think Mamma was in the right: King William wished me to change my name. He did not like either of my names, Alexandrina or Victoria!
    â€œToo foreign-sounding for an English princess,” he informed Mamma. “The child would do much better to have a properEnglish name. I propose that she take the name of Elizabeth. And if not Elizabeth, then certainly Charlotte.”
    Elizabeth! I did not like the name very much, and I did not wish to be named for a queen who treated her cousin, Mary, Queen of Scots, so cruelly. Further, I could not imagine now being called Charlotte.
    â€œYou have been given my name!” Mamma cried, outraged by the king’s proposal. “Now King William wishes to change it to something he likes better! Well, I will not give in to that! You are Victoria, a very high-sounding name, and Victoria you shall remain.”
    Then there was the matter of my title. I was always to be referred to as “Her Royal Highness.” When some person in the king’s household mistakenly left off the “Royal” in writing to Mamma, my mother became extremely upset. It took only one word to upset her. It may have been because Mamma always made such a fuss about everything that King William decided not to give me precedence in his procession. Whatever the reason, it so infuriated Mamma that she decided I would not be in the procession at all. And I would not attend the coronation.
    I was not consulted about any of this. I learned of it only after Mamma had sent word to the king. Surely, I thought, she would get over her temper and allow it. She must! I didn’t mind if I walked behind my three uncles—I simply wanted to be part of the coronation.
    â€œBut why , dearest Mamma? How I should love to be there!” I pleaded. “I adore Aunt Adelaide and I love Uncle William, and I know they’ll be disappointed if their dear niece does not attend. They are always so very kind to me!”
    Mamma refused to listen. She was unmoved by my tears or my pleading.
    â€œI really cannot afford the expense, Victoria,” she told me. I could not argue with that, for I knew nothing of money matters. “Besides, my dear child, your health is much too delicate for such an undertaking. I have written to King William that your attendance is out of the question. Now, let us speak no more of it.”
    My health was not delicate! Mamma was simply inventing that as an excuse. I suspected the real reason, besides my being shunted to a place in the procession behind the dukes, was that Mamma did not approve of King William, because of les bâtards . All of his illegitimate FitzClarence children actually lived at Windsor Castle with him and Aunt Adelaide. I had visited Windsor only a very few times, though I loved going there and would have happily accepted every invitation. But if any of the young FitzClarences happened to enter the room where we were sitting, Mamma rose, seized my hand, and led me away, always making sure everyone saw her. It was most horribly embarrassing. Les bâtards were the cause of my rarely being allowed to visit Windsor. I couldn’t imagine what harm could come to me if I happened to glimpse them accidentally, or even if one of them spoke to me.
    â€œIf Aunt Adelaide doesn’t object to the king’s children, why does Mamma object?” I asked dear Daisy. I did not dare ask