Vacation Read Online Free PDF

law, knows that bodies are supposed to be buried with their heads pointing toward Mecca. And the husbands are supposed to be buried on the right side of their wives. So the notion that he was, like, gonna build another Taj Mahal, is stupid.”
    The white marble of the Taj Mahal, Jack says, changes color from milky to pinkish to golden depending on the time of day or night, in order to reflect the various moods of women.
    However, Aubrey says, “Seriously though, the Shah probably didn’t even build the thing. Most of the evidence shows that the building was actually an ancient Shiva Temple, which the Shah took and used as a tomb. It’s pretty obvious really. The whole thing is way Hindu style. Go look at the outer wall of the sanctum sanctorum, and you’ll see the Hindu letter OM carved there. There’ve even been carbon 14 tests done that totally prove it’s a lot older than the Shah. But this isn’t the common belief, is it? Love sells a whole lot better than conquest.”
    Jack keeps talking, and the voice in my head keeps talking back, so I decide to tune them both out and turn to Krow.
    She’s wrapped in nine yards of gold now, a silk sari. She also wears dozens of bracelets (which she calls bangles), necklaces, finger rings, toe rings, earrings, anklets, and a nose pin. Much of it gold-plated. Gold, she tells me, is typically worn against the skin, because it has the power to purify what it touches. A red sindoor also dots her forehead. The sindoor, she says, covers the sixth chakra point called agna, which means command. She says it’s the point of intuition and perception. She says it’s the third eye.
    And then, right next to us, Pumpkin Head kisses a Horse Face woman.
    I glance around and notice that this is not an uncommon occurrence among the tour groups.
    Krow bites her lip. “I read somewhere that certain animals can only smell one thing. Know what it is?”
    “Food?”
    She shakes her head. “The opposite sex. So to them, the world—the entire world, no matter where they go or what they do—either smells like the opposite sex, or nothing at all.”
    And at that moment, I don’t feel like an adventurer anymore. All the things I’ve done on this Vacation, all that daredevil stuff, doesn’t mean shit. I’m a coward, and I’ve always been a coward. I do everything I’m told to do. And that’s why I hated Marvin. Why I feared him. Because he had the balls that I didn’t.
    Krow may not have those same balls anymore, but I think, initially, I was attracted to her because of the courage I remembered in Marvin. I didn’t want Marvin. I wanted to be Marvin.
    But it’s more than that now, isn’t it?
    “Krow,” I say.
    She looks away from Jack. “Hmm?”
    “You don’t have to call me Mr. Johnson,” I say.
    “Okay.” She scrunches up her forehead, and her third eye squints. “I just realized, I don’t know your first name.”
    “Bernard.”
    She smiles. “Bernard.”
    I smile back, the way Marvin would.
    Aubrey isn’t so ugly anymore. No, that’s not it. She’s ugly, but she isn’t as annoying. Instead of twitching and jerking and scratching and sniffling, she sits behind the counter with her hands folded together. And she must have taken a shower recently, because I can’t smell her from where I’m standing. Or am I sitting? It doesn’t matter.
    “This is it, bro,” she says. “The end of the line. India’s as far as we go.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “No more friendly conversations. No more fun facts. The nature of our relationship is about to change. At this point, there’s really nothing either of us can do about it.”
    “You’re not making any sense, Aubrey.”
    “Then let me make things clearer. In a very short time, you’re going to find yourself hating me.”
    “That won’t happen. It can’t.”
    She laughs, and this time it’s not a honk. “It doesn’t end there. Someone you know is responsible for these communications of ours. You’ll find yourself