Unsevered Read Online Free PDF Page B

long for me to regret having chosen a sappy love story because I was missing Harley more than ever by that point.
    Afterward, we stayed up a little longer and talked, mostly about our college days.
    “Yeah, Jules, you’ve got a good man with that Harley.” Her words were slurred due to the massive amounts of wine we’d consumed by then. “You haven’t always been lucky in the man department.”
    “What’s that supposed to mean?” I said, letting out a giggle. The alcohol had reached me, too.
    “Do you remember that guy you dated our junior year?” Chelsea asked. “What was his name? Scott, Todd, something like that.” She snapped her thumb and finger together, as if that would trigger the correct name.
    “His name was Tadd, thank you very much,” I replied. “Why, what was wrong with Tadd?”
    Both girls burst into boisterous laughter.
    “Remember he wrote you that love song and sang it to you outside our dorm window that night?”
    “Yeah. What about it? I thought it was sweet,” I replied.
    “Disgustingly sweet. That’s what drove you crazy about him, remember?” Gretchen said. “How did that song go again?”
    I shared the song with my friends.
    Jewel, my Jewel
    I’d be such a fool
    If I ever let you go
    I’d die, I just know.
    “Now that I’ve recited it out loud, I see what you mean. That was pretty bad.” I joined them in laughter.
    “I don’t think I’ve ever dated a guy who could sing in key,” I said. “Good thing they have other talents.”
    Laughter erupted in the room when I said that. We were all pretty wasted by that point. Merlot bottles and empty margarita glasses lined the coffee table, anesthetic concoctions to numb the ache in my heart, even if only for a little while.
    Our night ended with all three of us passed out on the floor. It was a perfect way to spend my first night without Harley, but deep down, I knew it was a temporary fix.
    We all got up around noon and enjoyed a light lunch together at my favorite local restaurant, Bistro on the Bay. When it was over, we hugged, promised to get together soon, and parted ways.
    Sooner than I’d hoped, I was back at home, alone once again. It was thoughtful of Harley to have all our stuff moved in and set up, but at that moment, I had nothing to do but sit and wait out the loneliness. At least if I had something to decorate, clean, or unpack, I would have been able to keep my hands busy. Instead, I opted to focus on occupying my mind with writing. 
    The waves mocked me rather than brought me peace in that moment. I sat and wrote the only words that came to my mind, a letter to my love.
    Dearest Harley,
    It’s been less than twenty-four hours since we left each other’s arms, and yet it feels like an eternity. I thought I would be stronger than this, and be able to face being alone, but already the vast emptiness is consuming me. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to breathe without you next to me. I invited the girls over to help me get through the night. Funny, I used to look forward to hanging out with them every spare moment I had, but this time wasn’t the same. It was fun, but I found myself wishing you were here with me instead. I realized that you have become my new best friend. You are now a part of me that I can’t live without, and don’t want to live without. I will be counting every second until you come back to me, but I will try to stay strong for you. I love you, and we will always be unsevered.
    Your wife,
    Jewel 
    I couldn’t send it. First, I had no address to send it to. Second, I wanted to be strong for him. I didn’t want to make him feel guilty for choosing an admirable profession like serving his country. I folded the paper and slid it into an envelope. Then I placed it in my underwear drawer and turned out the light to face my first night alone in our bed, which seemed to extend for miles since he was no longer there to fill the space beside me.
    Each night was a repeat of the one before. I stayed