Bondi.
He wasn’t home. She had no phone so she waited on his doorstep. Hours went by. Emma didn’t mind. It gave her time to think. She asked herself if she could have done things differently. She ran through the night at the beach house when she had forced Sally to watch her with David. She ran through the last few weeks, remembering how David was, how much attention he had paid her, how loving he was, how lustful. He had been so happy.
Then Paul arrived home with a woman. They had been at the beach and were still in their swimmers. The woman had a sarong wrapped around her hips, sandy feet, sunglasses, smiles.
‘I’ve left him.’
‘I didn’t think it would take a week.’
‘What do you want to do now?’
‘Shall I go?’ asked the woman, pulling out an iPhone from the beach bag slung over her shoulder.
There was the slightest of pauses. ‘I don’t want you to go,’ said Paul. ‘We were going in to have a drink, Em. Will you join us?’
‘Do you mind?’ Emma asked the woman.
‘I don’t mind.’
Paul unlocked the door to his flat. Emma watched as the woman entered and then Paul stood aside to let Emma through. She stopped and whispered in his ear, ‘We need to leave Sydney tomorrow. Can you arrange it?’
‘Why don’t we leave tonight?’
‘We’re busy tonight.’
Emma entered the flat and Paul followed, closing the door behind him.
SEVEN
She had left Sydney with Paul the next day and they had flown to London via Singapore and then on to Rome. They had behaved like teenagers on the trip.
They had got drunk. She needed to be drunk.
They had fucked in the cramped toilet. She needed to be fucked.
They had refused to sleep. She needed to stay awake.
They were a nuisance and were reprimanded by the flight attendants. She needed to be reprimanded.
When they arrived at their hotel in Rome they were both exhausted. Emma slept for twenty hours straight.
When she woke the enormity of what she had done finally descended upon her. The hotel room was empty. There was no Paul. She could hear Rome through the closed windows.
The night spent with Paul and his friend in Bondi had been long. They had started by drinking cocktails. Too many cocktails. Then she had slept with both of them. She had let a stranger touch her. She had done all that she could do. She had sucked, licked and fucked until she could feel nothing at all and then she had sucked, licked and fucked some more. The woman had said her name was Robyn, but later Paul had called her Gale. She was gorgeous and sexy. But Emma wasn’t able to lose herself as she had done so many times before. She had hoped that by behaving badly after leaving David she would be able to draw a definite line between her past and her future. Yet no line was drawn. There was no future in Paul or the woman. She could not escape her past so easily. It was a foolish thing to do. She could still smell the woman in her hair. Pleasurable but foolish. No amount of debauchery would wipe away the memory of David.
And now she was in Rome.
And she had nothing but Paul and the clothes she had borrowed from Sally. She did have money in an account in Sydney but she had left home without her bag and wallet. It would take days, maybe weeks, to work something out.
For now she was dependant entirely on Paul’s goodwill.
She rolled out of bed and staggered across the marble floor to the window and looked out. There was no view. At least the room was well heated. She crawled off to find the bath.
Emma was sitting naked on the edge of the bed when Paul entered the room. He was carrying a shopping bag.
‘Don’t get excited. I wouldn’t presume to pick out a wardrobe for you. I made a note of the size of the jeans you borrowed, and your underwear, and bought clothes like them. Just so you had something to wear today. Oh, and I bought a coat, too. It’s freezing out there.’
Emma motioned for him to come to her.
He put the bag down, took off his jacket and did as he
He wasn’t home. She had no phone so she waited on his doorstep. Hours went by. Emma didn’t mind. It gave her time to think. She asked herself if she could have done things differently. She ran through the night at the beach house when she had forced Sally to watch her with David. She ran through the last few weeks, remembering how David was, how much attention he had paid her, how loving he was, how lustful. He had been so happy.
Then Paul arrived home with a woman. They had been at the beach and were still in their swimmers. The woman had a sarong wrapped around her hips, sandy feet, sunglasses, smiles.
‘I’ve left him.’
‘I didn’t think it would take a week.’
‘What do you want to do now?’
‘Shall I go?’ asked the woman, pulling out an iPhone from the beach bag slung over her shoulder.
There was the slightest of pauses. ‘I don’t want you to go,’ said Paul. ‘We were going in to have a drink, Em. Will you join us?’
‘Do you mind?’ Emma asked the woman.
‘I don’t mind.’
Paul unlocked the door to his flat. Emma watched as the woman entered and then Paul stood aside to let Emma through. She stopped and whispered in his ear, ‘We need to leave Sydney tomorrow. Can you arrange it?’
‘Why don’t we leave tonight?’
‘We’re busy tonight.’
Emma entered the flat and Paul followed, closing the door behind him.
SEVEN
She had left Sydney with Paul the next day and they had flown to London via Singapore and then on to Rome. They had behaved like teenagers on the trip.
They had got drunk. She needed to be drunk.
They had fucked in the cramped toilet. She needed to be fucked.
They had refused to sleep. She needed to stay awake.
They were a nuisance and were reprimanded by the flight attendants. She needed to be reprimanded.
When they arrived at their hotel in Rome they were both exhausted. Emma slept for twenty hours straight.
When she woke the enormity of what she had done finally descended upon her. The hotel room was empty. There was no Paul. She could hear Rome through the closed windows.
The night spent with Paul and his friend in Bondi had been long. They had started by drinking cocktails. Too many cocktails. Then she had slept with both of them. She had let a stranger touch her. She had done all that she could do. She had sucked, licked and fucked until she could feel nothing at all and then she had sucked, licked and fucked some more. The woman had said her name was Robyn, but later Paul had called her Gale. She was gorgeous and sexy. But Emma wasn’t able to lose herself as she had done so many times before. She had hoped that by behaving badly after leaving David she would be able to draw a definite line between her past and her future. Yet no line was drawn. There was no future in Paul or the woman. She could not escape her past so easily. It was a foolish thing to do. She could still smell the woman in her hair. Pleasurable but foolish. No amount of debauchery would wipe away the memory of David.
And now she was in Rome.
And she had nothing but Paul and the clothes she had borrowed from Sally. She did have money in an account in Sydney but she had left home without her bag and wallet. It would take days, maybe weeks, to work something out.
For now she was dependant entirely on Paul’s goodwill.
She rolled out of bed and staggered across the marble floor to the window and looked out. There was no view. At least the room was well heated. She crawled off to find the bath.
Emma was sitting naked on the edge of the bed when Paul entered the room. He was carrying a shopping bag.
‘Don’t get excited. I wouldn’t presume to pick out a wardrobe for you. I made a note of the size of the jeans you borrowed, and your underwear, and bought clothes like them. Just so you had something to wear today. Oh, and I bought a coat, too. It’s freezing out there.’
Emma motioned for him to come to her.
He put the bag down, took off his jacket and did as he
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