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couldn’t concentrate on the conversation unfurling around us. At least it wasn’t because of my haze this time. It was because of Tracy’s barbed wire. How could I get past it?
    “So, are you getting excited about Coda?” Owen asked me.
    “What?” I looked up at him, trying to replay what he’d said. “Oh, yeah. Sure.”
    He frowned. “Sure seems like it.” He stabbed at his food, clearly frustrated with me.
    In that moment, I felt bad about my behavior. He’d done something thoughtful and kind to try to make me feel better, and I’d basically ignored it. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” I reached across the table and touched his hand to let him know I meant it. He looked up from his plate, a hopeful expression on his face. “I’m trying,” I said simply.
    He turned his hand over and grabbed mine. “I know.”
    Our hands remained entwined as we ate in silence for a few moments, until I couldn’t stand it anymore. “I tried jumping the fence today.”
    “Oh? How’d it go?”
    I cringed at the memory. My arms still ached, and I felt a little twitchy from the shock.
    “That good, huh? So, what’s your next move?”
    “I honestly don’t know. I’m out of ideas.”
    “Wow, you’re in trouble if your only idea was one of mine.”
    I balled up my napkin and threw it at him, and he laughed louder than the situation warranted.
    Mitchell sat a few seats down from us, trying to give us some space to eat together. But I wanted to pick his brain. “Hey Mitchell,” I called out. He looked up and nodded. “How did you get past Tracy’s defenses?”
    “Well, I—” Just as I was about to get my answer, I spotted Tracy carrying her dinner plate across the room. She walked over and put a hand on Mitchell’s shoulder.
    “He got creative. Perhaps that’s something you should consider, instead of stealing ideas from your colleagues. Out in the field, you’ll have no one but yourself to rely on,” she said. After giving me a disapproving frown that made me feel about five years old, she walked away.
    “Great,” I said. “I’ve disappointed her again.” It was out of my mouth before I could stop it, and I cringed, bracing myself for Owen’s reaction.
    But he didn’t bombard me with questions or encouragement. He simply moved the conversation to lighter things. “I was thinking I’d rent a limo for Coda. Really show my girl a good time.”
    “That sounds great.” I said, successfully forcing a small smile. The emotion wasn’t there, but at least I knew my face could still form the expression.
    “Maybe you should get a new dress to wear. You know, just for fun.”
    “Maybe I should.” But the thought of shopping without Maddie threatened to throw me back into darkness. “Maybe I can borrow something from one of the other girls.” Seeing the disappointment crowd in on his expression, I added, “The festival is three days long. Who can afford three brand-new fancy dresses anyway?”
    “Being awfully presumptuous, aren’t we? I never said I’d take you to all three days.” He smiled mischievously behind his fork as he stabbed at his salad.
    “Oh, well, I’m not planning to miss any of the days. I can always find another date if you’re not willing. I hear I’m quite exceptional.” I didn’t really feel that special after my morning with Tracy, but I said it anyway. Perhaps faking confidence would help me feel it once more.
    “Yes, well, being exceptional is an attractive quality.” The desire in his eyes was hard to ignore.
    It sparked something deep inside me, something that had been lying dormant for weeks. But before it could catch, I went back to eating my dinner, feeling drained from the effort of holding back the haze. Mitchell eyed me from across the table, and he gave me a knowing nod.
    Honestly, I would’ve welcomed some quiet time with Mitchell, but Owen was done with his research for the moment, so that meant a movie after dinner. I dreaded the nightly movie, since my bed