No matter how long we were here, it would never be home.
“Is this going to happen today, or what?”
I didn’t answer. I needed a minute. To calm my nerves, to say good-bye, to send out a prayer to whatever higher power there could be in the multiverse. I wanted to be ready for whatever was going to come next.
Reid could wait.
The last few weeks, he’d been pissed. At me, at his girlfriend, at his foster parents, at everything. The fake life was finally getting to him. He was usually so good at it. There had even been times when I thought he liked it here. He ate dinner with his parents; he did his homework and got good grades. He’d dated the same girl for almost six months. He had even gotten involved with student council.
That feeling, the restlessness that comes with knowing you belong somewhere else, it never seemed to affect Reid. It consumed me, turned me in on myself. I’d grown quiet and singularly focused on the couple of things that mattered to me. It had eaten away at Eli, turned him into an escapist with a short temper and a quick fuse.
Only it was Reid with the quick fuse right now. I’d known him my whole life. We knew more about each other than anyone else ever could, but I couldn’t pretend I’d ever understand him.
The beach below us was still crowded, even though the afternoon sun was already fading. Girls in bikinis, with their coolers and beach umbrellas, their blankets and towels spread out on the sand. Surfers in their wet suits were in the water. Maybe even a few kids with bodyboards and flippers, maybe a girl in a pink bathing suit, like the one who pulled me out of the water seven years ago.
“You’re not going to be able to see her,” Reid said, reading my mind. It wouldn’t have been hard for him. I was a pretty open book when it came to that girl. “Stop staring. You’re giving me heartburn.”
I didn’t respond. I wasn’t about to deny something they both knew was true.
This place wasn’t home, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t something good here. Something I would miss.
Rather some one .
Janelle.
She was lifeguarding down at the beach; at least she probably was. She had been there most of the days this summer when I’d gone to the beach to stare at the waves, though I still hadn’t spoken to her. Still hadn’t gotten up the nerve to say something, anything. Now that I could be about to go home, I wanted more time.
Time to tell her that she made this fake life bearable.
But I never got the chance. I flexed my hands and headed over to the people who knew me.
Eli clapped me on the back. “Don’t worry, my friend. There will be plenty of hot chicks in bikinis at home.”
The if we get there hung in between us. He thought we would. I didn’t, but I was willing to try anyway. I had to. I owed it to my parents and to my friends who were here because of me.
“Ready to do this?” I asked, hoping that for some reason being here would change their minds.
Eli jumped around a little and shook his arms. He was actually smiling, something he didn’t do all that often.
“What’s the plan?” Reid asked. “You’re just going to open the portal?”
“No.” I shook my head. “We should all do it. Just like the first time.”
“The second time,” Reid corrected.
“You know what I mean.”
“Who cares?” Eli cut in. “We put our hands together, we focus, and we open a fucking portal. Once it’s open, we go through.”
“I’ll go first.” I didn’t want to, but it was only fair. I’d gone first the last time. “Take it slow. We can’t rush this.”
I swallowed hard. The plan was for me to go almost completely through to the other side. I would leave only my hand behind, for Eli and Reid to hold on to. If I made it somewhere else, I would give them a thumbs up and keep going through. If I died . . . I wouldn’t.
I left something out before when I said we didn’t know anything new since we opened that portal 148 days ago. We opened more