I think it's cool. Seriously. Do you know how often I lie in bed at night trying to decide what I'd want to be if I was a Wildling?"
"Lay off, Wilson," Marina says.
"It's okay," I tell her. "I'd rather get a response like that than the two of you screaming and running off."
"We'd never do that."
"I know. That's why I told you. But you can't tell anybody else." I look from one to the other. " Seriously . You can't. Swear to me you won't."
Marina looks at me strangely. Maybe this isn't so okay with her. She seems uncomfortable, but I guess I can't blame her. It's not as though it's just some little quirk I have.
"Sure," she says. "Of course. How did your mom take it?"
"I haven't told her."
Her eyebrow goes up and I know what she's thinking. I pretty much tell my mom everything.
"Wait a minute," Desmond says. "Why can't we tell anyone? The cops know, Steve knows—unless you whacked him in the head when he was sleeping, which I'd totally get. The guy's buff. But keeping any of this secret? The cat's out of the bag, man, pun intended."
"Actually, it's not," I say.
I tell them the whole story, only leaving out the bit about the Joanie Jones pictures. I just say I was listening to demos The Wild Surf has posted on their site when Steve came into my room and hit me.
Desmond laughs when I tell them about how I wrecked the sink, but they both get sober looks as I finish up with the guy in the suit I saw standing on my street.
"Intense," Desmond says.
Marina nods. "So you think whoever's in the SUV is connected to the man you saw?"
"Or they're two separate groups with the same interest in me. Whichever, after what Cory told me, I just want to keep my head down."
"So the change is permanent," Desmond says.
"Yeah. But it doesn't mean I have to go running around in my Wildling shape. I just want things to get back to normal as soon as they can."
"But Steve knows," Marina says.
I nod. "There's that. But apparently he tripped up in telling his story to the cops. Maybe he's afraid he'll get charged for hitting me, or maybe he thinks I'll come after him and finish the job. Anyway, the cops seemed to believe me."
"Unless they're just letting the Feds handle it," Desmond says.
"Or Steve's talked to someone else," Marina adds.
"I know. I'm so screwed."
She gives me a sympathetic look and asks, "What are you going to do?"
"Long term, I have no idea. Right now—Mom said I could invite you over for pizza. Tomorrow I'm going to school and get that gawk-fest over with."
"Going to school," Desmond says. "With what you can do, that's like somebody winning the lottery and then just going back to their crappy job."
"What am I supposed to do? Join the circus?"
He shakes his head. "No. I'm just saying. Wildlings should be amazing. We should treat them like rock stars. But instead, it's like everything else—just another opportunity for people to make it all scary and weird."
"The mountain lion that's inside you," Marina says. "That's a big animal. Is it hard to control?"
"It's not a different creature inside me," I try to explain. "It's like I can be one or the other, but when I'm in my Wildling shape, I'm still supposed to be myself. I haven't quite got the hang of that yet. But the good thing is, I have to actually will it to happen."
"But the two times you changed before ... it sounds like it took over."
"I know. But the first time, it caught me by surprise, and the second time, I was stupid enough to will it to happen and then got freaked out that it did."
"I think it would freak me out, too," she says.
"What would you be if it happened to you?" Desmond asks her. "I mean, if it was going to happen anyway, what animal would you choose?"
She crosses and uncrosses her legs, then deflects the question to Des. "What would you choose?"
"I'm kind of torn between a wolf and an eagle."
"An eagle would be cool," I say. "You could just float up there away from everything."
Desmond nods. "I know. But wolves. You've got to dig
"Lay off, Wilson," Marina says.
"It's okay," I tell her. "I'd rather get a response like that than the two of you screaming and running off."
"We'd never do that."
"I know. That's why I told you. But you can't tell anybody else." I look from one to the other. " Seriously . You can't. Swear to me you won't."
Marina looks at me strangely. Maybe this isn't so okay with her. She seems uncomfortable, but I guess I can't blame her. It's not as though it's just some little quirk I have.
"Sure," she says. "Of course. How did your mom take it?"
"I haven't told her."
Her eyebrow goes up and I know what she's thinking. I pretty much tell my mom everything.
"Wait a minute," Desmond says. "Why can't we tell anyone? The cops know, Steve knows—unless you whacked him in the head when he was sleeping, which I'd totally get. The guy's buff. But keeping any of this secret? The cat's out of the bag, man, pun intended."
"Actually, it's not," I say.
I tell them the whole story, only leaving out the bit about the Joanie Jones pictures. I just say I was listening to demos The Wild Surf has posted on their site when Steve came into my room and hit me.
Desmond laughs when I tell them about how I wrecked the sink, but they both get sober looks as I finish up with the guy in the suit I saw standing on my street.
"Intense," Desmond says.
Marina nods. "So you think whoever's in the SUV is connected to the man you saw?"
"Or they're two separate groups with the same interest in me. Whichever, after what Cory told me, I just want to keep my head down."
"So the change is permanent," Desmond says.
"Yeah. But it doesn't mean I have to go running around in my Wildling shape. I just want things to get back to normal as soon as they can."
"But Steve knows," Marina says.
I nod. "There's that. But apparently he tripped up in telling his story to the cops. Maybe he's afraid he'll get charged for hitting me, or maybe he thinks I'll come after him and finish the job. Anyway, the cops seemed to believe me."
"Unless they're just letting the Feds handle it," Desmond says.
"Or Steve's talked to someone else," Marina adds.
"I know. I'm so screwed."
She gives me a sympathetic look and asks, "What are you going to do?"
"Long term, I have no idea. Right now—Mom said I could invite you over for pizza. Tomorrow I'm going to school and get that gawk-fest over with."
"Going to school," Desmond says. "With what you can do, that's like somebody winning the lottery and then just going back to their crappy job."
"What am I supposed to do? Join the circus?"
He shakes his head. "No. I'm just saying. Wildlings should be amazing. We should treat them like rock stars. But instead, it's like everything else—just another opportunity for people to make it all scary and weird."
"The mountain lion that's inside you," Marina says. "That's a big animal. Is it hard to control?"
"It's not a different creature inside me," I try to explain. "It's like I can be one or the other, but when I'm in my Wildling shape, I'm still supposed to be myself. I haven't quite got the hang of that yet. But the good thing is, I have to actually will it to happen."
"But the two times you changed before ... it sounds like it took over."
"I know. But the first time, it caught me by surprise, and the second time, I was stupid enough to will it to happen and then got freaked out that it did."
"I think it would freak me out, too," she says.
"What would you be if it happened to you?" Desmond asks her. "I mean, if it was going to happen anyway, what animal would you choose?"
She crosses and uncrosses her legs, then deflects the question to Des. "What would you choose?"
"I'm kind of torn between a wolf and an eagle."
"An eagle would be cool," I say. "You could just float up there away from everything."
Desmond nods. "I know. But wolves. You've got to dig
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