Undaunted Love (PART ONE): Banished Saga, Book 3 Read Online Free PDF

Richard said. “Whatever torments you is in deep.”
    “You should have told me. I would have moved out. Given you some peace.”
    “The only peace we want is the peace that comes from knowing you are free of this at last,” Florence said. She reached forward to grip his hand.
    “There are things I need to say, but, Florence, you shouldn’t listen to them.”
    “Because I’m a woman? Too sensitive to understand what you could have suffered?”
    “Because I want to protect you from the darker aspects of this horrible world.”
    “Jeremy, my own mother didn’t want me. I know how dark this world can be. Let me support you too,” Florence said.
    Jeremy nodded, gripping her hand once before releasing it. He took a deep breath and drummed his fingers on the table in a nervous pattern. As he spoke, he lowered his head, tracing granules of sugar on the table.
    “In the beginning, I enjoyed the army. I loved it. I was used to a regimented life after living with Aunt Masterson, so it was no hardship. But in the army, if I followed the rules, I was left alone. I wasn’t punished for something I didn’t do.
    “I made friends, enjoyed the camaraderie. I believed it was a just and noble fight. I believed the … propaganda, I guess you’d call it. We were the liberators of an oppressed people who wouldn’t know how to rule themselves. I thought I’d have an adventure, travel to an exotic tropical island and that there’d be no true fighting because we’d be welcomed by the natives.”
    He rose and paced. “They didn’t want us there. At least not when it meant more war and death and suffering for their loved ones.” He pinched the bridge of his nose.
    “Do you know I actually offered to obtain intelligence? That’s how it all started. I was friends with one of the men who was specially trained in it, but he got sick with malaria. Rather than wait for someone to be sent out from Manila, I offered to give it a try. I thought, if we could obtain the information, the fighting would end sooner.”
    He snorted. “God, how naive I sound. I believed them when they said that force was needed to extract information. Never mind that half of what we learned was useless. Just desperate men fabricating anything they could think of to make us stop.
    “I took pride in what I did because men broke the fastest under me. I caused them the most pain in the shortest amount of time, and I was hailed as the ideal soldier.” He sat in a chair across from Richard and Florence, and held his head in his hands.
    “What do you dream about, Jeremy?” Florence asked in a near whisper.
    “I’m in this dream I can’t get out of. But instead of being the torturer, I’m the one being tortured. I can’t move and … and …” He broke off, rubbing a hand over his face. “How could I have done that? It wasn’t me! That’s not who Mum and Da raised me to be.”
    “Jeremy, look at me.”
    Jeremy’s head jerked up as though complying with an order from a commanding officer. Richard gave a small smile, tinged with bitter satisfaction. “That’s how you did it. You were ordered to.”
    “I should have known better.”
    “What would have happened to you if you’d declined?” Florence asked. “I can’t imagine your troop mates would be happy to have a pacifist in the army.”
    “That’s just it. I was far from a pacifist. I liked the fighting. I liked outsmarting the enemy. Figuring out where they’d hide and how to best attack. How to break them the fastest.”
    Richard waited, watching him. He gripped Florence’s hand to signal her to keep quiet.
    “I even enjoyed battle, as long as it wasn’t hand-to-hand.” He ran a shaky palm over his face. “But the screams and carnage after battle.” He shuddered. “I realized all I was good at was bringing pain to others.”
    “That’s not true, and you know it,” Richard snapped. He met Jeremy’s eyes, and his voice softened as he saw Jeremy’s torment. “You were forced to