in the flower and spies a card hidden in their midst. As she begins opening the card, Nate hovers in anxious anticipation to learn the source of the beautiful display. Jess, sensing Nate’s anticipation, stops opening the card and says tauntingly, “Who could have sent such an amazing assortment to little old me?”
Nate cocks his hips, places both hands on them, and says, “Girlfriend, if you don’t hurry and open up that card, I’m going to bitch-slap you. Who are they from? I’m dying here!”
She grins at him and opens the card with a flourish. Her mouth drops open, telling Nate everything he needs to know.
“They’re from the illustrious Mr. Green, aren’t they?” he asks, knowingly.
“Yes, yes they are. Oh God, they’re beautiful,” she says, fingering one of the stems as she reads the note.
“Sweetie, they are amazing in their beauty. Very exotic, even erotic, maybe?” Nate wiggles his eyebrows.
“Stop it, right there. I know where you’re intending to go, and we are not going there, ever. Besides, they’re lilies, which symbolize death, and Mr. Green’s card is as demeaning as ever. He apologized for ‘offending my delicate sensibilities.’ What a royal asshole.” She tosses her hair over her shoulder.
“Jess, why do you always have to assume the worst in everyone?”
“Not everyone! Just Mr. Green. He is such a pompous ass!”
Jessica hands Nate the card to read, and when he finishes, he stops to smell the flowers. Finally, he smiles and asks, “Didn’t you ever stop to think this may be a sincere apology and there is no hidden agenda here? Perhaps he finds you attractive and can’t express himself in his usual articulate manner?”
She rolls her eyes. “I told you not to go there, and I meant it. The only relationship I want with Mr. Green is a professional one!”
Nate wiggles a finger at her. “Tsk, tsk. I do believe thou doth protest too much. After all, I know you find him attractive.”
Jess makes a face. “Bite me. Yes, his physical appearance I find attractive, but as soon as he opens his mouth, all is lost.”
“Sister, this is me you’re talking to. He is exactly the type of guy you have a weakness for. He’s successful, confident, articulate, creative, and doesn’t take your crap. What really pissed you off with Mr. Green is that he saw right through you and didn’t let your beauty faze him in his business assessment of you. He caught you off your game and tossed you out like excess laundry, and you’re not used to being treated like that.”
Jess gapes at him and finally manages, “Damn right, I’m not.”
Nate rolls his eyes. “Jess, let it go! It’s in the past, and we need to concentrate on the future. Besides, any man this erotically creative has got to be good in bed. If Phillip and I weren’t together, I’d ponder doing Mr. Green myself.”
Jessica snorts. “Well, perhaps you should talk to Phillip about your man-crush. He might be willing to accommodate you in a ménage a trois!”
Nate sighs. “Now you’re just being a mean spirited bitch.”
She is quiet for a moment. “You’re right. I went too far, I’m sorry.”
Nate nods. “Besides, what Phillip and I have is so special. I would never share his magnificent body with anyone else.”
“I said I’m sorry, and I meant it!” Jess exclaims, getting a wink from him in return.
“Yes, love, I know. I just wanted to use guilt to make you feel worse, simply because you’re not the only bitch in this room.”
She glares at him and then sighs. “What do you think I should do?”
Nate ponders in silence for what seems like hours, contemplating the right answer to her question. Suddenly, the light comes on, and he remembers Sean Green is a scotch snob. During his research, he found the only scotch Sean likes is obscenely expensive and ridiculously hard to find, but it seems like the best possible response to the display of lilies. He nods and says, “I think you should send him a
MR. PINK-WHISTLE INTERFERES