Uncle John's Bathroom Reader The World's Gone Crazy

Uncle John's Bathroom Reader The World's Gone Crazy Read Online Free PDF

Book: Uncle John's Bathroom Reader The World's Gone Crazy Read Online Free PDF
Author: Bathroom Readers’ Institute
got a week to get your s*** together, otherwise I’m blowing the airport sky high!!”
    Another Twitterer saw the tweet and alerted police, who deemed it a threat and arrested Chambers a week later under the U.K.’s Terrorism Act. He said that he spent seven hours trying to explain Twitter to detectives before they released him. He was banned from Robin Hood Airport for life, was suspended from his job, and his iPhone, laptop, and home computer were confiscated.

@ THE ALTAR
    Tracy Page was surprised when her brand-new husband, Dana Hanna, pulled out his cell phone—while their wedding was still going on—and posted this update to Twitter:
        Standing at the altar with @TracyPage where, just a second ago, she became my wife! Gotta go, time to kiss my bride.
    Before he kissed her, the groom updated his Facebook status to “married.” Then he pulled out Tracy’s cell phone (which he’d also brought to the altar) and updated her Twitter and Facebook accounts. Only then did Dana kiss the bride. Said the priest: “If it’s official on Facebook, it’s official in my book.”

DUMB AS A POST
    A woman in Fort Loudoun, Pennsylvania, arrived home one afternoon in 2009 to find that someone had broken in to her house: A window was broken, cabinet doors were ajar, and her two diamond rings were gone. Then she noticed that her computer had been turned on, and there was a Facebook page on the screen—belonging to one of her neighbors, 19-year-old Jonathan Parker. The woman called police, and they arrested Parker and recovered the two rings. During the burglary, Parker had stopped to check his Facebook page…and forgot to log off. He faces up to 10 years in prison.
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That’s all? A study by a U.S. research firm found that 40% of Twitter messages are “pointless babble.”
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IT’S NOT JUST YOUR SPACE
    In 2009 a man robbed a bank in North Augusta, South Carolina. After a surveillance photo of the robber ran on the local news, police received a call from a viewer who said the suspect looked like his friend Joe Northington. On a tip, the cops checked Northington’s MySpace page and saw this message running across the top:
        On tha run for robbin a bank! Love all of yall.
    Northington’s status was listed as “wanted.” He was arrested and convicted.

COME ONE, COME ALL
    In 2009 police were alerted to this invitation posted on Facebook by siblings Chris and Cassandra Phalen in Papillion, Nebraska:
    A History Making House Party!
        Liquor, six kegs of beer, a DJ, professional photographer, and shuttle service. P.S. Don’t worry about the cops, I have a police scanner so I will have the heads up if they come.
    Undercover cops showed up at the party and arrested nine underage guests, along with the Phalens.

THIS THING DOES MORE THAN POST UPDATES?
    Two girls, aged 10 and 12, got stuck in a storm drain in Australia in 2009. Despite their yells for help, no one came to their rescue. Finally, one of the girls had an idea—she took out her cell phone and used it to update her Facebook status:
        We’re stuck in the storm drain! Call for help!
    More than an hour later, firefighters showed up and freed the girls. Said one of the rescuers: “They could have just called us directly and we could have gotten there quicker than relying on someone being online and replying to them and eventually having to call us anyway.”
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World’s oldest paraglider: Peggy McAlpine. She was 100 when she flew for the first time .
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MIGHTY UNICORNS
VS. KONKRETE KIDS

    Actual high-school team names .
    P UNS
• Poca Dots (Poca High School, West Virginia)
• Hot Dogs (Frankfort, Indiana)
    • Deaf Leopards (Arkansas School for the Deaf)
    • Fightin’ Planets (Mars, Pennsylvania)

SOUNDS DIRTY, BUT ISN’T (OR IS IT?)
    • Butte Pirates (Arco, Idaho)
    • Cornjerkers (Hoopeston, Illinois)
    • Purple Pounders (Harrison, Tennessee)

NOT THAT INTIMIDATING
    • Pretzels (New Berlin, Illinois)
    • Nimrods
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