Uncle Dynamite Read Online Free PDF Page B

time to time he
snorted in a quiet undertone.
    He
yearned for his wife’s company, so that he could pour into her always receptive
ear the story of his wrongs, and soon after he had put the finishing touches to
the broken slat he got it. A cab drove up to the front door, and presently Lady
Bostock appeared, a woman in the late forties who looked like a horse.
    ‘Oh,
there you are, dear,’ she said brightly. In conversation with her consort she
was nearly always obliged to provide brightness enough for both of them. She
paused, sniffing. ‘What a curious smell there is in here.’
    Sir
Aylmer frowned. He resented criticism, even of his smells.
    ‘Glue,’
he said briefly. ‘I’ve been mending the blind.’
    ‘Oh,
how clever of you, darling. Thank you so much,’ said Lady Bostock, brighter
than ever. ‘Well, I suppose you thought I was never coming back. It’s lovely to
be home again. London was
terribly stuffy. I thought Hermione was looking very well. She sent all sorts
of messages to you and Reginald. Has he arrived yet?’
    On the
point of asking who the devil Reginald was, Sir Aylmer remembered that his
daughter had recently become betrothed to some young pot of cyanide answering
to that name. He replied that Reginald had not yet arrived.
    ‘Hermione
said he was coming today. ‘‘Well, he hasn’t.’
    ‘Has he
wired?’
    ‘No.’
    ‘I
suppose he forgot.’
    ‘Silly
fatheaded young poop,’ said Sir Aylmer.
    Lady
Bostock regarded him anxiously. She seemed to sense in his manner an
anti-Reginald bias, and she knew his work. He was capable, she was aware, when
in anything like shape, of reducing young men who had failed to arouse his
enthusiasm to spots of grease in a matter of minutes, and she was intensely
desirous that no such disaster should occur on the present occasion. Hermione,
seeing her off at Waterloo , had
issued definite instructions that her loved one, while at Ashenden Manor, was
to enjoy the status of an ewe lamb, and Hermione was a girl whom it did not do
to cross. She expected people to carry out her wishes, and those who knew what
was good for them invariably did so.
    Recalling
all the timid young aides-de-camp whom she had seen curling up at the edges
like scorched paper beneath his glare during those long and happy years in Lower Barnatoland , she gazed at her husband
pleadingly.
    ‘You
will be nice to Reginald, dear, won’t you?’
    ‘I am
always nice.’
    ‘I
don’t want him to complain to Hermione about his unwelcome. You know what she
is like.’
    A
thoughtful silence fell, as they allowed their minds to dwell on what Hermione
was like. Lady Bostock broke it on a note of hope.
    ‘You
may become the greatest friends.’
    ‘Bah!’
    ‘Hermione
says he is delightful.’
    ‘Probably
the usual young pest with brilliantined hair and a giggle,’ said Sir Aylmer
morosely, refusing to look for the silver lining and try to find the sunny side
of life. ‘It’s bad enough having William around. Add Reginald, and existence
will become a hell.’
    His
words reminded Lady Bostock that there was a topic on which an affectionate
aunt ought to have touched earlier.
    ‘William
has arrived, then?’
    ‘Yes.
Oh, yes, he’s arrived.’
    ‘I hope
the reception went off well. Such a good idea, I thought, when you told me
about it. How surprised he must have been. It’s so fortunate that he should
have come back in good time for the fete. He is always so useful, looking after
the sports. Where is he?’
    ‘I
don’t know. Dead, I hope ….’
    ‘ Aylmer ! What do you mean?’
    Sir
Aylmer had not snorted since his wife’s return and now it was as if all the
snorts he might have been snorting had coalesced into one stupendous burst of
sound. It was surprising that Pongo, at the moment driving in through the main
gates, did not hear it and think one of his tyres had gone.
    ‘I’ll
tell you what I mean. Do you know what that young hound did? Didn’t get out at
Ashenden Oakshott. Remained