my gentle teasing.
“I know. But he’ll still wonder and he’ll be wanting it to be him in here instead of me. I want to make him suffer.”
I shake my head. Boys.
“Did you like him, India?”
Hunter and Rey don’t seem like the best of friends, so I hesitate. But I know who I’d pick if it came down to it—Rey has nothing to fear—and I won’t lie to him.
“Would you be mad if I said yes?”
“I’d be surprised if you didn’t. I’ll let you in on a secret. I think he likes you, too.”
*
“Take off your clothes.”
“I’m sorry?”
“You heard me.” The slight raise of Rey’s eyebrows is a very gentle scolding. “And if you’re going to question me while we’re here, little one, you should say ‘I’m sorry, sir .’”
My face gets warm. Right.
Rey had invited me to the city this weekend, and I’d hoped to get in some more of what he calls training. Training sounds like work, though, and while it hasn’t all been effortless, I don’t think of it as work at all. It’s more like the best thing that’s ever happened to me. As far back as I can remember, my head’s been a busy place. So many things to think about, so many pieces of myself duking it out for supremacy. Muddled.
But when Rey’s training me, that’s not how I feel at all. It’s like someone’s finally cleaned the dirty window I’ve been looking through my whole life. Everything is clear. I can show Rey the chaos, and he doesn’t run, doesn’t shrink back, doesn’t tell me to be quiet. He lets me be that way and, if I want help, gives it to me. And in return…
“I’m sorry, sir. You want me to take off my clothes?”
Rey walks farther into the hotel suite we’re staying in and pours a glass of water from a waiting pitcher before sitting on the ultramodern boxy couch in the middle of the living room.
“I do.”
“May I…may I ask why, sir?”
“You may always ask questions. Unless I’ve instructed you otherwise, I want you to ask questions. You’ll learn the difference between information that’s withheld for fun and information withheld that could be dangerous. Anyone who tops you should let you ask questions, especially at first. And if they don’t, run. Understood?”
“Yes, sir.” I fight back the urge to roll my lips between my teeth. “Then, why, sir, do you want me to take off my clothes?”
“It’s not a sex thing if that’s what you’re worried about.”
I wasn’t worried. I mean, A) Rey’s as gay as the day is long, and B) he frequently touches me in ways that might look sexual, but don’t quite feel that way.
“It’s a dominance thing. If I have all my clothes on and you don’t, who’s in charge?”
Though I could imagine scenarios in which the opposite might be true, I know what he means. “You, sir.”
“That’s right. So take off your clothes.”
“Yes, sir.”
I shrug off the denim jacket I wore on our way here and peel off my shirt, folding them before laying them on the coffee table. I strip carefully, methodically, until I’m completely naked. Rey’s been studying me the whole time, and now he beckons me toward him before tossing a pillow on the floor at his feet.
“Sit.”
I do and look up at him expectantly. He draws out the collar I’ve become accustomed to—indeed, quite fond of—and fastens it around my neck. Tugging at the small lock, his mouth curls up.
“You know when I put your collar on, your shoulders drop and your breathing gets deeper?”
I didn’t, but now that he’s pointed it out, I can tell it’s true. He doesn’t wait for an answer, but leans forward to undo the clasp in my hair and finger-combs the long locks that fall around my shoulders. When they’re arranged to his satisfaction, he cups the back of my head and urges me in, telling me to rest my head on his thigh and fold my hands in my lap.
Once I’ve done as he’s asked, he strokes my hair. Though part of me is indignant at being treated like something not quite