road,” he explains still watching me as I stare
at the waterfall. “I tore down that bumpy road. I was so angry that
it somehow made me feel better. When I found this, I knew that
someday I would bring you here,” he says softly.
I look up at him shocked by his last
statement. His eyes were staring back at me so soft and warm. My
mouth goes dry and my belly tightens at the thought of him thinking
of me when he found this place. I have no idea how to respond so I
just sit next to him on the bench, pull my knees up, and wrap my
arms around them. I rest my chin on my knees and stare out into the
water.
Luke stands up and pulls a small flash light
out of his pocket. His back is facing me and my mind can’t help but
to start wandering again. His jeans are tight around his bottom and
I stare at the magnificent sight. He turns toward me and I avert my
eyes quickly so he doesn’t know what I was staring at. He must have
noticed, because a knowing smile forms as he looks down at me.
“Come here.” Luke motions for me to stand up
so I can look at something on one of the posts that is holding up
the gazebo roof.
My face flushes from all of the thoughts
running through my head. I stand up to look at what he is pointing
to. He shines the flashlight on the post and carved into it is a
Calla Lily that is so beautiful and detailed. Underneath is an
inscription, “ To my sweet Lilly Flower.”
“You did that? Is that me?”
“Yes and yes,” Luke answers shyly, watching
my face for a reaction.
My face flushes with warmth and excitement. I
continue to stare at the carving. I’m so confused. Does he have the
same feelings for me that I have for him? Luke walks around to my
side and I can feel him staring at me.
“I know that you don’t understand, Lilly, but
you are never far from my mind. Soon you will be free from Jane and
you can live your life. You are such a beautiful, vibrant woman,
and one day you are going to shine.” He’s standing so close to my
side that I can feel his breath on my cheek. I feel so weak and my
mind is racing with all that he is telling me.
He stops talking and takes a step back from
me, sighing heavily.
“What’s wrong?” I ask seeing a look of pain
on his face.
“I’m twenty years old and you’re only
seventeen.” His voice is deep with anguish as he steps closer to me
so I can feel his shirt brush my shoulder. “No matter how much I
want to, how much it hurts, I can’t act on what I am feeling.” I
feel heat radiating from him. I want him to act on what he is
feeling because I am feeling it too.
I turn to look up at him. His eyes are dark,
looking so longingly at me. Before I know it, I step toward him
wrapping my arms around his waist pressing myself to him. I rest
the side of my face on his warm hard chest. I feel my whole body
burst. The electricity is setting my skin on fire.
Luke’s arms engulf me and I have never felt
so safe in my entire life. I look up into his eyes and I think he
is about to kiss me when he looks away.
“I need to get you home, Lilly,” Luke
whispers. I don’t want to let go. I feel his heart beating so
strong against my face.
“I want to stay here with you,” I breathe
into his shirt, but Luke pulls away from me and starts to direct me
towards the dock.
“Please, Lilly. I’m sorry. I have to get you
back. I should have never brought you here. I thought it would make
me feel better, but it has only made things worse,” Luke says
taking my hand and leading me to the truck.
We sit in silence as we bounce back down the
bumpy dirt road. I’m confused as to what has just happened. I want
him to act on his feelings, but don’t know how to tell him. I feel
like something has changed and I don’t know what or how it did. He
seems more distant now, not the same as just a few hours ago when
he picked me up.
“Did I make you mad?” I ask Luke, still
sitting in the truck after we pull up to the end of my lane. He
hops out and reaches for my
David Levithan, Rachel Cohn