Two Under Par Read Online Free PDF

Sometimes she sprayed it on so generously that Wedge referred to her as “The Walking Perfume Factory” or “The Human Lilac Bush,” and it made him feel queasy, especially if they were in the Volkswagen with the windows rolled up. But that night he continued to sniff the note even though the scent of lilacs had already made him feel light-headed.
    The phone finally rang. Wedge answered it before the first ring was even completed.
    â€œSally?!”
    â€œWill you accept a collect call from a Sally?” someone asked, sounding distant and formal.
    â€œYes!” Wedge cried. “Sally?!”
    â€œWedge! Hi, baby!” Wedge listened carefully to Sally’s voice. The sound of every word. “How are you?”
    Loaded question, Wedge thought. Not knowing where to start. What to say.
    â€œWedge? Are you there?”
    â€œYeah. And, uh, I wish you were here, too.” His throat tightened. “You think you might come home early? ”
    At that point King picked up the phone in the kitchen. “Sal? Is that you?”
    â€œHi, King,” Sally said. “Do you care if I talk to Wedge alone for a few minutes? Then Andrew and I will tell you all about our day.” Sally made a kissing sound, the phone clicked, and King was gone.
    â€œWedge,” Sally began, “remember our talk this morning? Let’s be happy. I know everything’s been a big rush, but I want to get to know the real Andrew and I want King to get to know the real you. This seemed like the best way. It really did. And you know me, Wedge, sometimes I just do things.”
    I think I know what else you did, Wedge thought. He found himself feeling angry, too, now. Lonely and angry.
    Sally continued. “It’s like jumping off the high dive at the public pool. You can sit around and wait and get yourself all worked up and scared. Or you can take a deep breath, close your eyes, and jump! I like to jump. Do you know what I mean, honey?”
    Maybe you jump too often, Wedge said in his head.
    â€œHoney?”
    Wedge hated the high dive. Whenever he climbed up the ladder to the board, he saw double and the way the board swayed when he stood on it made his ears pound with blood. But if you didn’t go through with it and jump, everyone laughed at you. Wedge also hated the high dive because he hated swimming. And he hated swimming because he didn’t like to wear a swimming suit. He even disliked short pants. They made him feel uncomfortable and nervous. Fatter. No matter how hot it was, long pants were the only way to go. But if given the choice, he’d rather be perched atop the high dive completely naked than be where he was at this moment.
    â€œWedge? Wedge? ” Sally called, bringing his attention back to their conversation.
    Wedge didn’t answer, though. Words dangled in his throat, but he couldn’t squeeze them out. If he wasn’t able to see Sally for a week he didn’t think he wanted to talk to her, either. It was too hard. It just made things worse. And anyway, what was he supposed to say?
    â€œWedge? Is this a bad connection?”
    â€œIt must be,” he replied, making his voice crackle and thumping the phone with his thumb. “I’ll tell King to come back on.”
    Wedge placed the receiver on the floor and yelled downstairs to King.
    â€œI love you, Wedge!” Sally shouted into the phone.
    Wedge stared at the receiver. He stared and stared. Against his better judgment, he decided to give eavesdropping one more try. So, instead of placing the receiver back in its cradle to give King and Sally their privacy, Wedge lay down on the floor, inching his ear up to it.
    Sally was talking. “. . . and if things are that bad, I’ll come home right now. I will.”
    â€œNo. Really,” King replied. “I want to do this on my own.”
    â€œAre you sure?”
    â€œI’m