Two for Three Farthings Read Online Free PDF

’ungry.’
    Orrice stopped to look at a stall selling oranges and dates, the dates freshly arrived from the Middle East. An open crate, three sides down, revealed a luscious square mound of the sticky fruit, the top broken into, the large knife stuck in. They were tuppence a pound. Orrice had a feeling dates were a lot more nourishing than oranges.
    â€˜Would yer like some dates, sis?’ he asked.
    Effel regarded the mound. Her mouth watered again.
    â€˜I got to eat somefink,’ she said. Her empty stomach gave voice and sent a begging message. It gurgled and rumbled. Orrice heard it.
    â€˜Effel, is that you?’ he asked.
    â€˜Don’t know what yer mean,’ said Effel, faintly rosy. ‘Orrice, let’s ’ave some dates, can’t we?’
    â€˜Course we can, they’ll fill yer up better than oranges,’ said Orrice. He approached the stallholder, Effel behind him as usual. She was always inclined to use him as a shield in the presence of strangers or when she wasn’t sure of things. Orrice asked for a pound of dates. The stallholder cut out a large lump of the compressed fruit. He weighed up a pound in a brown paper bag. He received tuppence from Orrice, also, ‘Fank yer, mister. Mister?’
    â€˜Well, me young cock sparrer?’ said the stallholder.
    â€˜Mister, ’ave yer got any bad oranges yer don’t want? Only we ain’t got the money for good ones, and me sister’s ’ad ’ooping cough, and the doctor said oranges was best for girls ’er age.’
    â€˜â€™Ere, yer comin’ it a bit with ’ooping cough and doctors and oranges, ain’t yer, me saucebox?’ said the stallholder.
    â€˜Mister, you can look at ’er,’ said Orrice earnestly. ‘That’s ’er. Effel, stand still.’ Effel ducked her head. ‘Can yer see ’er, mister, can yer see she ain’t stopped being poorly yet?’ Effel dragged up a racking cough.
    The stallholder looked solemn.
    â€˜And the doctor said she needs bad oranges?’
    â€˜No, ’e didn’t say bad ones, mister, but it won’t matter about ones that’s gone off a bit. I could cut out them bits, I don’t mind doin’ that for ’er. Only being ’ard-up, we can only afford the dates.’ Orrice thought. ‘I fink the doctor said dates was nourishing.’
    â€˜Gawd blimey,’ said the stallholder, ‘I’ve ’eard some kids in me time, but I ain’t ’eard many like you, young feller. All right, ’elp yerself from under me stall, and next time yer come round don’t make me laugh meself to death. Me lovin’ trouble and strife ain’t keen on being widdered just yet.’
    â€˜Ta, mister, yer a sport,’ said Orrice. ‘’Ere, Effel, mind me sack a minute. Now what yer standin’ on one leg for? She’s always doing that, standin’ on one leg,’ he confided to the stallholder.
    â€˜No, I ain’t,’ said Effel, and stood on both legs, minding the sacks and holding the bag of dates while Orrice dived under the stall. A woman customer arrived. Orrice saw a dozen or so discarded oranges in a crate. He also saw an empty cardboard box. ‘Mister, can I use this cardboard box to put ’em in?’ His voice came in garbled fashion from under the stall.
    â€˜â€™Elp,’ said the woman customer, ‘you got a talkin’ parrot under there, Charlie ’Awkins?’
    â€˜No good askin’ me,’ said the stallholder. ‘Dunno what ’e is, ’cept ’e’s been tyin’ me up in sailors’ knots.’ He called down to Orrice. ‘Listen, sunshine, why don’t yer just take me ’ole perishing stall an’ me livelihood?’
    â€˜I only want the cardboard box, mister, honest,’ said Orrice.
    â€˜I’m grateful,’ said the stallholder, handing his customer a bag of required