Twisted Sisters Read Online Free PDF Page B

are you out of harmony with your family?”
    I sit straight up. “Excuse me?”
    “I’m noticing discord in your second chakra.”
    Of course you are.
    Deva continues, “The Sanskrit translation for the second chakra is ‘the dwelling place
     for the self.’ The second chakra is most closely linked with sexuality and creativity.
     However, because this chakra also has six petals, that portion relates to the numerology
     of six, which pertains to nurturing and links back to family and community.”
    “Like you do,” I quip.
    She blithely continues, “My concern, Reagan Bishop, is I’m seeing signs your second
     chakra is weak, which can manifest itself in any number of problems, most likely in
     your sense of self-worth.”
    Drink.
    “I assure you my self-worth is
not
an issue,” I state. I mean, Taylor Park and U of C and Pepperdine? Accelerated career
     path? Lead psychologist on
Push
? Years of self-validation? “I’m fine, thank you. More than fine. I’m borderline magnificent.”
     And I will be fully so once Sebastian and I figure out how to navigate this minor
     blip in our relationship. Hello! Text me back now, please.
    Until then, I shall enjoy another sip of this delicious tropical beverage. And I will
     say this: the cane sugar doesn’t possess a pesticide-y aftertaste.
    Why would anyone question my self-worth, especially when doing the whole apples-to-organic-apples
     comparison with my family? What the hell has Mary Mac or Geri ever achieved, other
     than robbing me of a peaceful childhood?
    “According to John E. Groberg, a weak second chakra can lead to your feeling like
     a martyr.”
    At the moment, I’m feeling annoyed, not persecuted. “Deva, I’m telling you that all
     is well.” I take another pull on my pineapple. This concoction has to be full of vitamin
     C. Really, I’m consuming it for nutritional purposes. But Troy should consider blending
     in some wild blueberries for the antioxidants.
    Deva studies my face before tracing the outline of my body with her eyes.
    It’s disconcerting.
    Finally she says, “Your second chakra indicates you’re easily offended and prone to
     being upset. Couple that with the six numerology and all signs point to disharmony
     in the family.”
    Okay, now I’m angry and somewhat emboldened by the liquor. “Deva, that is
enough
. Why don’t you go back to whatever planet you’re from, or maybe your beach house,
     and stop peddling your new age nonsense in my direction. The fact is that I’m a mental
     health professional—I have a damned
doctorate—
so I suspect I have a better handle on what I perceive to be my issues than you do.”
    Deva smiles beatifically. “I’m not from another planet, Reagan Bishop. I’m from La
     Grange, Illinois.”
    I wave my pineapple at Hope. “I’m going to need another one of these.”
    •   •   •
    Three hours/multiple pineapples later, I wake in my lounge chair. I immediately check
     my phone. No texts. I remind myself to have a chat with the front desk because clearly
     there’s an issue with the wireless service here.
    That’s when I notice the sun’s low in the sky and Deva’s gone, leaving nothing behind
     save for my bottle of Neutrogena sitting with a note penned on Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua’s
     stationery reading
You might want to use me, Reagan Bishop. See you at dinner!
    I glance down at my formerly milky epidermis, which is now not only fire-hydrant red,
     but also throbbing.
    Fantastic. I guess I can cross “burn self to a crisp” off the old bucket list.
    As I wend my way around the lushly landscaped pool and back to my room, flashes of
     our conversation come back to me and I’m mortified all over again. Perhaps I should
     be grateful that I’m already the color of a candy apple, thus no one can see me blush.
    “I’m curious about your name, Reagan Bishop,” Deva prodded somewhere around third-pineapple
     o’clock. “Were your parents fans of the Gipper and his Star Wars