Twisted Roots Read Online Free PDF

away, I'll make sure I have a home big enough for him. too," I vowed.
"Maybe you will" Mommy said smiling. She closed her eyes again, "Claude is beautiful." she muttered, "isn't he. Hannah? I hope and pray he'll be all right. You pray, too, sweetheart, pray for your little brother."
I watched her drift off right in front of my eyes. Her breathing became soft and regular. For a few moments I sat there, pouting, and then I rose and went back to the nursery to look through the window at my new brother, at the little being who could bring so much joy to my mother and Miguel simply by appearing.
Looking at Claude caused me to wonder about Uncle Linden, born secretly in that beach house, barely knowing his mother before she was sent to my grandfather's clinic. Do babies sense the separation, long for their mothers without even realizing what it is that makes them feel so lost? Was Uncle Linden terrified at night when he cried and was comforted not by his mother, but by his Grandmother?
Something made little Claude shudder, and then a moment later he waved his arms and small fists wildly, screaming. No one seemed to notice. I looked about frantically until finally I saw a nurse go to him. She held him for a moment. but that didn't stop his crying. His face looked even redder, and I thought. Do something before he chokes to death on his own tears.
I was about to pound on the glass and shout it, but the nurse smiled as if there was absolutely nothing wrong, then she said something to another nurse and took him out. I worried about where she had taken him until I saw she was bringing him to Mommy's room.
'What's wrong with him?" I asked.
"Nothing. He's just hungry," the nurse replied and went in to wake Mommy so she could breast-feed him. She had decided she would do that.
Nothing brought home little Claude's favored place and status in our family more than watching him suckle at Mommy's breast and seeing the angelic joy in her face. Mommy never told me whether or not she had breast-fed me, and suddenly it became very important to know.
"He's so hungry," Mommy said. "That's good."
"Was I breast-fed. too?" I asked abruptly. Mommy looked up at me, holding her smile.
"No, actually, you weren't. I was so crazed back then. Your father and I had separated. I was feeling so abused. Despite what everyone was telling me. I couldn't help believing I had permitted him to ruin my life."
"Then you didn't want me to be born?"
"Yes, of course I did. I was just feeling terribly sorry for myself. My mother had died; Linden was not doing very well. as I explained to you. and here I was. pregnant with a husband who considered adultery less important than a parking ticket.
But the moment you appeared on the scene, it all changed. It was as if the sun had finally come out on a rainy day."
"Then why didn't you breast-feed me. too?"
She hesitated, glanced at Claude. and then looked at me and forced a smile. Mommy's forced smiles always looked like she could go either way: cry or laugh.
"I just told you. Hannah. I was in somewhat of a state of turmoil. I had no one but Miguel really. I needed to get back on my feet as quickly as I could. I tried to stay home with you as long as I could, but eventually. I had to get out in the world and occupy myself. You had a wonderful nanny in Donna Castilla, and Mrs. Davis, bless her soul, watched over you as though you were her very own grandchild. In the beginning I had my hands full arbitrating the arguments between the two of them concerning what was best for you and what was not. Do you remember any of that?"
"A little." I said.
"Yes, well. I'm glad I didn't keep a nanny as long as my stepmother did, even though Amou was more my mother. You, thank goodness, had me and had a stepfather who has always loved you like his own."
"Now he has two children to love," I said.
She gazed down at Claude. I wondered if she could hear my fears in my voice. I really meant he'll love him more. It's only natural. I thought. Claude is