Tuning in to Inner Peace: The Surprisingly Fun Way to Transform Your Life Read Online Free PDF

chooses styles and writes and performs songs that others loudly demean, but one thing is sure. She continues to be her own authentic self with no apologies.
     
    Perfectionism asks you to prove that what you want to try will be a success. But the most rewarding things you try, you can’t prove that you will succeed at and might even be worthwhile if you fail.
     
    The High Cost of P erfectionism
    Normal striving towards perfection helps you feel better and encourages you to reach your goals.
     
    But perfectionism as the unrelenting taskmaster can have devastating consequences, including depression. You lose that sense of the intrinsic value of a person, and may give up entirely trying to achieve the impossible, ever-expanding to-do-perfectly list. Depression takes the joy out of living and is a dominant cause of suicide.
     
    Depression can be healed. Tools may include medication, but always include some form of cognitive therapy to help retrain a person's thinking. Helping people get off the path of unrealistic and overly critical thinking is fundamental. This retraining is at the core of relief, allowing the person to enjoy life again.
     
    Everybody makes mistakes.
     
    Embracing mistakes
    My meditation instructor once forgot my name when introducing me in a group. Later, he apologized, and said his ego must have been getting overblown. He explained that making a ‘stupid mistake’ has the benefit of quickly humbling him. It’s a quick way of detaching from the headstrong, prideful aspects of character, and instantly becoming more centered.
     
    Perfectionism demands the unattainable and wants us to be superhuman in all endeavors 24/7, as well as instantly great and guaranteed to succeed at anything we try.
     
    The deeper self knows that the level of skill and the admiration earned from doing something well, are not what life’s all about anyway.
     
    So, as we move through life, and trip up here and there, maybe there’s a higher purpose. Maybe this keeps us from attaching our identity to being the great fill-in-the-blank. Being The Great One in any area of life sets us up for feeling self-important, for that manic drive for more success, and often thinking less of others.
     
    So, when we make silly blunders here and there throughout our days, the ego is deflated quickly. We can laugh at our mistakes and not take ourselves so seriously. We can lighten up and enjoy things more.
     
    Because from this vantage point, we can recognize the true perfection of the human condition. Ourselves included.
     
    Write a polite note to the perfectionist critic, and send it packing! Let’s stop inviting the party pooper to the parties!
     
    To err is human.
     
     

Exercises
              Listen to the mental chatter about the big and little mistakes you make. Observe the tone of voice and words used. Would you use the same words to a friend? Would your assessment be so harsh? Is there a way to be honest, yet more gentle and encouraging with yourself?
              Make a list of dreams pushed aside. Have you wanted to read a poem at Open Mic night? Did you want to learn guitar? Dream of having a painting exhibit? Want to learn ballroom dancing?
              Is there a pushed-aside dream you could nudge over to your “To Try List”?
              If your friend was doing the same analysis about her life, what would you encourage her to do? Can you accept that advice for yourself?
              Notice the things you think you’d like to do, but decline with, “No, I can’t.”  Is there a more gentle answer that could provide an opening, such as, “I tried it when I was younger, but I was too shy. Maybe I’ll try it again.”
              If you can’t get up the courage to try something for your own enjoyment, can you for someone else? Try playing tennis with your five-year-old niece, even though you haven’t tried to hit a ball for a