True Porn Clerk Stories Read Online Free PDF

me take off for an audition, and they have twice let me take a full month off to go do a show. The pay sucks, but there's no dress code and you can't beat the flexibility.
     
    But still, holy fuck. I know it is exactly a year this Friday because I started the job (a year ago -- have I mentioned this was a year ago?) precisely one week before my thirtieth birthday. Talk about your existential crises. That one was enormous, and it came on in a single moment: I was putting away porn tags, when suddenly I looked up and came face-to-face with the box for Fuck Pigs 5 . I can still see the box. There was, of course, a woman on it, offering up her orifices for the pleasure of anyone who wanted a look. She seemed friendly, almost shy. And she was being called a fuck pig.
     
    "Good Lord," I thought, "What happened to me? I'm about to turn 30 and I'm on my knees in a basement restocking incredibly degrading porn."
     
    This time around I will be about to turn 31 and I will be on my knees in a basement stocking incredibly degrading porn. At least I can laugh about it. Sometimes I have to pull my lips into a rictus grin, peel my tongue off the roof of my mouth, and punch myself in the solar plexus, but a laugh is a laugh.
     
    I've gotten numb to a lot of it over the past year -- and some of it I do find genuinely hilarious -- but I am still, sometimes, conflicted about the really degrading porn. The Fuck Pig stuff.
     
    It took a long time for me to even admit to myself that porn can be degrading. I'm a sex-positive, first amendment feminist. I've been through the progressive arguments about porn: lesbians enjoy it too, so porn is not inherently degrading to women; the woman giving the blow job can be very much in control of the sex act; and besides, what if in censoring other porn they decide to come for your porn first? I got them, I believed them, and I was willing to defend to my death (or at least to my jailing) the right to produce porn, assuming all the actors truly consent.
     
    As is so often the case, I had those lofty ideals before I really had any experience with porn other than as an abstract concept. Working with porn on a regular basis, while it has expanded my whatever-floats-your-boat tolerance, has led me to conclude that yes, sometimes porn is degrading. Indeed, sometimes it's meant to be degrading. Sometimes that's the whole point.
     
    Take, for example, the Guttermouth series, the latest example of which arrived last week and triggered my current case of porn clerk malaise. In a way, it was satisfyingly cyclical moment -- Guttermouth also refers to its stars, still young enough to look happy and proud on the box, as "fuck pigs". They look about 19. They look sweet. They're posing in bikinis and looking right at the camera, hoping you will like them. Fuck pigs. The box copy is what's really revolting. It's over the top, but I don't think it's meant to be funny. There are short fake cast bios of all the girls, in the same happy tone of theater bios before the actors grow up and get hip and cynical. One of them is called a dumb slut, another a worthless cunt. I'm fairly certain there was more on the other two, but it was just too depressing to keep reading.
     
    This is the one porn impulse that I honestly don't get. (Oh, all right. I don't really get peeing on each other or hurting each other, but I think I understand intellectually how one might get there.) I don't understand the need to degrade someone. But that need is definitely, sadly out there. One of our best-renting titles of long standing is called Grudge Fuck . 3 It always rents right back out as soon as we can replace the tag. Every time.
     
    Much as I hate to say it, it seems to be a straight guy thing.
     
    There's definitely a Captain Kirk--style exploration up and down the imaginary social ladder in both the straight and gay sections. In addition to the dozens of variations on (oddly -- or sadly) still taboo interracial pairings, we have More Dirty