have the male energy lines, a helluva hip guy, Iâll give him credit for that. ⦠One night he brought a porno, people doing it nonstop, like a zoo ⦠We couldnât stop guzzling the booze and giggling ⦠Nathan gave himself a body scrub in the shower.
Mistress is sitting on the last step of the staircase.
MISTRESS Â Â (
low with emotion
) When I told him, he froze. He said, âYouâve got to get rid of it.â And I said, âNo, itâs mine, mine ⦠Iâll rear it alone.â Iâve never seen a man so thrown, so flabbergasted, he went ashen. I said, âIs it your wife ⦠is it your daughter?â and he said a most cutting thing. He said, âItâs not my wife, itâs not my daughter, itâs you and itâs me ⦠A man thinks he has found a new woman, a great woman, but it always turns out to be the same bloody woman in different costume.â He walked out of the restaurant; âYou rat, you fucking rat!â I shouted and I was certain that he had merely gone down the street to think things over, men are wont to go down the street to think things over, but I was wrong. Not long after, I rang my friend Rachel to ask for her doctorâs number and I took two weeks off work and learnt that my understudy was a wow.
Daughter lying on her futon, flicking through salacious magazines, whistles, etc.
DAUGHTER   Wow, sheâs curvy ⦠Youâve got a very big bush, madam, you could sweep Amsterdam Avenue with that.
S CENE S IXTEEN
Wife in raincoat and red beret approaches the Mistressâs space pointing the ferule of the long black umbrella. She is smiling, almost laughing. She has had a few drinks, weaves a little.
WIFE Â Â (
singing
) Oh show me the way to the next whiskey bar
Oh pretty boy
Please donât ask why,
You know that you must die â¦
Oh, pretty boy
MISTRESS Â Â Whenever I saw a mother and a baby on the street I just burst into tears.
WIFE Â Â (
quizzical
) Your hair ⦠something different ⦠Seems shorter ⦠Not quite so tousled.
MISTRESS Â Â Youâve been on the town, I see.
Wife, ignoring that, takes a photograph out of her wallet.
WIFE   Souvenir. Thought youâd like to see what Henry looked like when we met twenty years ago ⦠Heâd seen a postcard of James Dean wearing a cap, standing by some fence so he got himself the same cap. From the moment I met him I decided that he was the one, my Orpheus, even if it meant going down into hell for half the year.
MISTRESS   Look, I am not breaking up your marriage and I donât intend to ⦠I am his mistress and I know the rules.
WIFE   You and your ilk are a pox on married households ⦠up our husbandsâ asses, licking our husbandsâ asses ⦠and we carry the can and smile and say, âDarling, shall we have Lourda OâShaughnessy around for dinner?â She of the alabaster cleavage. And we smile and smile (
lower voice
) and get fat.
MISTRESS   He spends time with you ⦠Christmas, Thanksgiving, anniversaries ⦠values your advice about his work.
WIFE   Heâs washed up. He has a block. He canât deliver. Itâs different with actors, you can fake it ⦠you have your (
pause
) repertoire of masks ⦠that you put on and off at will ⦠but a writer dons a mask at his peril. When he goes into solitary, he doesnât lie, Clarissa.
MISTRESS Â Â (
scornful
) What pearls of wisdom.
Wife picks up a vodka bottle off the dressing table.
WIFE Â Â May I?
MISTRESS Â Â Help yourself.
Wife drinks, savoring it.
WIFE Â Â You went to Washington with him.
MISTRESS Â Â Did I?
WIFE   I telephoned him at his hotel and the girl on the switchboard said he was out, so I tried later. She said, âMaâam ⦠youâve been phoning all evening.â I said: âNo, thatâs his
Theresa Marguerite Hewitt