my
specifications. I want one plain, uncomplicated, quiet female. Stretch the
limits of your capabilities and see if you can complete this herculean task.”
Zakkery’s
eyes narrowed at the sarcasm. “Why don’t we come at this from a different
angle?” He suggested tightly. “Tell me something specific. Not what you don’t want this girl to be or this vague crap about how you want someone ‘quiet’ and
‘efficient.’ I want something real.”
“Efficiency is real.” Kingu insisted. “That’s a vital quality.” He didn’t want
someone chaotic. He’d had far too much chaos in his life.
Zakkery
disregarded that. “Give me something concrete to go on. A tangible thing to
look for. Like double D’s, or her SAT scores, or how about just one word to describe this impossible girl? What do you want her to give you?”
“Hope.”
The
word was out before Kingu could censor it and he immediately wished he could
call it back. Not just because Zakkery’s usual sardonic expression sagged in
utter shock at the uncharacteristically whimsical answer, but because Kingu
knew it was such an impossible request.
He
was used to not having hope.
When
you didn’t have a soul, you eventually reached a point where you just accepted
what you were and you stopped thinking you could ever be something more. You had to do that, or you went insane. A kind of numbness set in. A deep knowledge
that you were completely and totally on your own.
That
was the hardest part to come to grips with. Realizing that even your prayers
went unheard. It had taken Kingu millennia to accept that whatever bigger,
stronger gods might be out there, they had no interest in a creature they hadn’t
had a hand in making. He was outside the natural scope. Beyond their
jurisdiction.
Created ,
not born .
When
you didn’t have a soul, it also seemed pointless to try and to squeeze your
behavior into some bedtime story box of morality. Good and bad meant nothing.
How could they? Regardless of the outcome, it wasn’t like there was anything
to look forward to on the back-end. You could save the world or end it, and
the outcome would be the same when you finally died. No holy white light
pulling you upward. No punishing fire dragging you down.
Nothing
but the same kind of funeral a broken chair might finally have, after its owner
chopped it to bits and tossed it out for the trash. No one mourned the chair.
It wasn’t rewarded or punished for the kind of life it had led. It didn’t go to
Chair Heaven or Chair Hell.
It
just… ceased to exist.
With
that kind of happy destiny looming on the horizon, it was little wonder that
Kingu always concentrated on the present far more than the future. He’d
endured for countless centuries focusing no further than the next afternoon.
He lived his life in day long blocks, not really caring what happened.
Perhaps
things would have been different if he’d been allowed to fulfill his actual
potential in the universe. Perhaps he would have tried harder to make a difference
in the world. Perhaps he could have found some purpose beyond routine
survival.
After
all, Kingu was a god.
He
held more energy than any ludicrous Phase could imagine. He wasn’t as powerful
as his mother, of course, but few people were. Kay was the primordial Khaos.
She controlled all the formless, destructive nothingness in existence, which
–sadly-- was so much scarier than it sounded. She’d killed so many weaker,
more breakable beings that she’d eventually manufactured Kingu to be her
permanent captive audience.
Literally
captive.
Kingu
had been a slave to his mother from the day he’d been created. He was the only
one strong enough to withstand her endless torture. She’d made sure of that.
Made sure he was immortal and healed quickly from the wounds she loved to
inflict. And she made sure that Kingu couldn’t access any of his own powers
and