Trainspotting Read Online Free PDF Page B

ignore the bastard. Mates are a waste of fucking time. They are always ready to drag you down tae their level of social, sexual and intellectual mediocrity. I’d better dismiss the radge though, in case he thinks he’s got one up on us.
    — The fact that you use the term ‘cunt’ in the same breath as ‘sexist’, shows that ye display the same muddled, fucked-up thinking oan this issue as you do oan everything else.
    That scoobies the cunt. Eh sais something biscuit-ersed in reply, in a pathetic attempt tae salvage the situation. Rent Boy 0, Simone 1. We both know it. Renton, Renton, what’s the score  . . .
    The Bridges is hotchin wi minge. Ooh, ooh la la, let’s go dancin, ooh, ooh la la, Simon dancin  . . . There is fanny of every race, colour, creed and nationality present. Oh ya cunt, ye! It’s time tae move. Two oriental types consulting a map. Simone express, that’ll do nicely. Fuck Rents, he’s a doss bastard, totally US.
    — Can I help you? Where are you headed? ah ask. Good old-fashioned Scoattish hoshpitality, aye, ye cannae beat it, shays the young Sean Connery, the new Bond, cause girls, this is the new bondage  . . .
    — We’re looking for the Royal Mile, a posh, English-colonial voice answers back in ma face. What a fucking wee pump-up-the-knickers n aw. Simple Simon sais, put your hands on your feet  . . .
    Of course, the Rent Boy is looking like a flaccid prick in a barrel-load ay fannies. Sometimes ah really think the gadge still believes that an erection is for pishing over high walls.
    — Follow us. Are you going to a show? Yes, you can’t beat the Festival for bringing out the mantovani.
    — Yes. One of the (china) dolls hands us a piece ay paper wi Brecht: The Caucasian Chalk Circle by Nottingham University Theatre Group on it. Doubtless a collection of zit-encrusted, squeaky-voiced wankers playing oot a miserable pretension tae the arts before graduating to work in the power stations which give the local children leukemia or investment consultancies which shut doon factories, throwing people into poverty and despair. Still, let’s git the board-treading ootay the system first. Fucking toss bags, don’t you agree, Sean, ma auld fellow former milk-delivering mucker? Yesh Shimon, I shink you may have a shtrong point thair. Auld Sean and I have so many parallels. Both Edina lads, both ex-co-op milk boys. Ah only did the Leith run, whereas Sean, if ye listen tae any auld fucker, delivered milk tae every household in the city. Child labour laws were more lax then, I suppose. One area in which wi differ is looks. Sean is completely out-Sean in that department by Simone.
    Now Rents is gibbering oan aboot Galileo and Mother Courage and Baal and aw that shite. The bitches seem quite impressed n aw. Why fuck me insensible! This doss cunt actually does have his uses. It’s an amazing world. Yesh Shimon, the more I shee, the less I believe. You an me boash, Sean.
    The oriental mantos depart tae the show, but they’ve agreed tae meet us for a drink in Deacons afterwards. Rents cannae make it. Boo-fucking-hoo. Ah’ll cry masel tae sleep. He’s meeting Ms Mogadon, the lovely Hazel . . . ah’ll just have to amuse both chickies . . . if ah decide to show up. Ah’m a busy man. One musht put duty fursht, eh Sean? Preshishly Shimon.
    Ah shake off Rents, he can go and kill himself with drugs. Some fucking friends I have. Spud, Second Prize, Begbie, Matty, Tommy: these punters spell L-I-M-I-T-E-D. An extremely limited company. Well, ah’m fed up to ma back teeth wi losers, no-hopers, draftpaks, schemies, junkies and the likes. I am a dynamic young man, upwardly mobile and thrusting, thrusting, thrusting . . .
    . . . the socialists go on about your comrades, your class, your union, and society. Fuck all that shite. The Tories go on about your employer, your country, your family. Fuck that even mair. It’s me, me, fucking ME, Simon David Williamson, NUMERO FUCKING UNO, versus