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half of Dilaudid and five of Nitropress. Lei, you
gotta…”
    Everything slowly got further and further
away. I succumbed to the fog yet again.

 
    Chapter Five
    Leila
    It had been almost two days since Jaxon’s
surgery and he was still unconscious. I spent as much time at his
bedside as I could, but Brody refused to let me stay overnight.
Even though I had destroyed his dream of us being together, he was
still taking care of me, insisting I needed to remember our
daughter, and that Jaxon would want me to take care of myself. I
relented last night, but I wasn’t sure if I could bear to leave
Jaxon again. Jane was gracious enough to drop me off this morning
since Brody was gone before I woke up. He sent a text not too long
ago saying he would pick me up at the same time he did
yesterday.
    Brody had been distant and quiet the last two
days. I knew I should talk to him, but I just couldn’t—I couldn’t
see that look of disappointment and dejection. My stress level was
through the roof waiting for Jax to wake up. I didn’t need to add
to it. So instead, we rode back to his house in silence, He stayed
in the study and avoided me at all costs, and I did everything I
could to stay out of his way. It was like walking on eggshells.
    Jaxon’s parents had been at the hospital,
constantly by his side. Even though he was in ICU, I pulled some
strings so we could stay with him. Ashley and Doug were taking
turns staying the night, and since Jax coded yesterday no one had
the heart to argue with them.
    Seeing the love his parents felt for him, I
couldn’t help but wonder if I would love my child the same way.
Awe-inspiring and terrifying at the same time, all I could think
was, what if I’m a bad mom? What if I didn’t feel that way? I mean, I knew I loved my baby girl already,
but how could I love my child as much as my mom loved me? Was that
even possible? I was so mortified by these thoughts, I couldn’t
bear to ask anyone if they’d had the same feelings.
    Drew, Barb, and Drake came in a few times a
day to check on us. Drew fussed at me, while Barb constantly
brought food. I swear I’d gained five pounds in the last
forty-eight hours.
    All in my ass.
    Great.
    Mark and Viper stopped by every day and only
stayed long enough to make sure I didn’t need anything, and to
check on Jax’s progress, or at this point lack thereof. I tried
asking what happened, why was my man shot, but they wouldn’t say.
No one told me anything other than they were working on it. When I
tried to press Mark, his glare was enough to warn me away from
doing that again . I’m talking way beyond if looks
could kill .
    This morning I tiptoed—well, I tried to
tiptoe—into Jax’s room, and stood in the doorway watching his chest
rise and fall, praying this would be the day he woke up and said
something, anything, to me in that fabulous gravelly voice I so
loved.
    “Good morning,” I whispered to Doug, who was
lying on the pullout cot.
    “Well, it’s morning, but I’m not sure it’s
all that good.”
    “Did he have a rough night?” I frowned.
    “No, pretty uneventful. I, however, didn’t
sleep a wink. I’d have been better off in a chair, I think. This
bed, cot, or whatever it is, is a piece of shit,” Doug growled. Ahh, that’s where my man gets his
cantankerousness.
    “How about I go get you a coffee?” I
offered.
    “Nah, I’ll go. You sit and put your feet up.
You need to relax and work on keepin’ that granddaughter of mine in
there ’til she’s ready.” Doug stood and stretched his long arms
above his head. “Anything for you or the baby? Breakfast?”
    “I’m okay. Thanks though.” It still rocked my
world that Jaxon’s parents already accepted my daughter as their
own.
    “Did you eat breakfast yet?” I heard Ashley’s
delicate voice from behind me at the door as she snuck in.
    “No, but I’m not really too hungry,” I
explained.
    “Doug, can you grab some fresh fruit, eggs,
some toast, and maybe some bacon?”