anyway, he hadnât done it for a living; heâd done it for a passion. âJaneyâlisten. Janey, a couple of years ago, you came into my study and you saw that there wasââ He sighed. âSome pornography on my computer screen. You turned around and walked out and we never talked about it.â Her cancer hadnât been identified then, but aging had made sex difficult for her despite the hormones that helped to kill her, so sex was not an easy subject between them. âYou see, the truth, Janey, was worse than what you thought. Andââ He sat.
âI want you to forgive me, Janey. Not for the pornâthat was nothingâbut for what I was really doing. I was sending classified information to a Chinese case officer. We used pornographic photos to embed the data in so we could send it over the Internet.â He sighed. âIâm a Chinese agent.â He waited. There was only the hum of the air-conditioning.
âI had a reason, JaneyâI have a reason, Iâm not just some goddam two-bit traitor! I haveâmy own goal.â
He put her hand down on the flowered sheet and sat back.
âRemember the first tour in Jakarta? I was running agents against the Chinese mostly. I had a guy I called Bali, he was Straits Chinese, he was one of those footboxers. Tough. I found he was a double; he was being run from the Chinese interest office, so I played him for a year until I got a line on his control and I busted him. It was one of those macho things to doâguy who walks on two canes muscles a Chinese case officer, pretty stupid now that I think of it, but at the time I was a high flier, remember?
âI picked up his control in the apartment of one of Sukarnoâs buddies. He had the place wired like a concert hall. So I scoped it out and had a techie blank the mikes and play dead sound, and I went in and told him he was going to work for Uncle or he was going to be one dead Chink when Sukarnoâs buddy came home.â
He looked at her. Was there something like a smile? âRemember Jakarta? The first time? Fantastic fucking. We were young.â Her eyelids trembled.
Shreed sighed. âSoâThe guyâs name was Chen. Bao ChenâZhen, weâd say now. I was going to recruit Chen, and he recruited me. Not the way you think, though. He made me a deal. Weâd trade. Iâd give him stuff, heâd giveme stuff. We were on the same level in our agencies; weâd help each other up the ladder. Weâd both know the stuff wasnât first-class, not the stuff that would really hurt, so we wouldnât be traitors. More like scratching each otherâs back.â
Shreed made a faceâmouth opened in a snarl, tongue pressed first against the inside of an upper molar, then against the teeth in front, like a chimpanzee. His head went back and he breathed in and out. âI knew when he made the offer that it was really why Iâd busted himâso heâd recruit me. You see, I didnât care about going up the ladder that much. What I cared about was becoming a Chinese agent! Because I knew that the Chinese were my real enemiesâthe fucking Soviets were on the ropes, I knew it even back thenâand I knew that if they made me an agent and trusted me, I could fuck them good!â He closed his eyes, then popped them open. âIt disgusted me then. It disgusts me now. But I had to do it. Do you see? Do you see, Janey? â
Rain was falling on the streets outside the hospice. The night was warm; few people were out, yet one man had walked by the building three times. He had a dog with him, perhaps the reason for his walking, but the dog, a long-haired mutt, was miserable and was being dragged on its leash now. Still, the man walked.
He was Ray Suter, George Shreedâs assistant. He was not there out of concern for his boss or his bossâs wife. He was there to listen to the monologue being radioed to him from a