Too Stupid to Live(Romancelandia) Read Online Free PDF Page B

on his swim trunks and walked out into the hall, where he ran right into Nik.
    Nik stared at him a second. “What are you wearing ?”
    “What? Are they ugly?” Sam looked down at himself. He looked like himself: too tall and too skinny. He dropped his voice. “Do I look that bad?”
    “No, and no. What you look is overdressed.”
    Sam stared at Nik. Okay, if he was overdressed in a pair of surfer-esque swim trunks, that meant everyone else was wearing . . . “Speedos?” he squeaked.
    Nik shook his head and sighed. “Sam, really. What kind of gay men’s housewarming party would it be if we went into the hot tub with clothing on? It would be a sham. I would never live that down.”
    Wait. Nude hot-tubbing? With Ian ? “Wha . . .? Bu . . .”
    “What?”
    “I mean, I don’t, you know. I’m kinda . . .”
    “Are you going to go on about being tired again?”
    “No, no.” Damn ! He should have said yes. “I’m just, I’m . . . I mean what if I, you know. I get . . . you know.” Judging from Nik’s look, he didn’t know. He looked truly puzzled, not that sort of simple-but-good-natured puzzled expression he affected when he was messing with people. “Excited,” Sam finished.
    “Excited.”
    “Excited.”
    Nik tilted his head, studying Sam. “I guess the choice is yours. You can be the only guy in the hot tub with shorts on, or you can be like the rest of us and recite baseball stats in your head to keep from getting hard.”
    “Baseball stats? Like what?”
    “No idea. It’s just what Jurgen does when he’s trying not to pop too early.”
    “See, I didn’t need to know that.”
    Nik stepped forward to lay a commiserating hand on Sam’s upper arm. “I know, Sam. I know. Neither did I.”
    “Shit. Maybe I’ll just be too tired?” Sam asked hopefully. Again.
    Nik frowned. “But then there’ll only be three guys in the hot tub. I need you in there, or I haven’t done my job as a good host. Hosts need an even number of people in the hot tub.”
    “That’s at the table, and you’re a modern hostess. You can do this. And what do you mean, ‘only three guys’?”
    “Host. Modern hosts don’t care how many people they have at the table. They care about how many people they have in the hot tub.”
    “Host. Only three guys?”
    Nik blinked at him. “Yeah. Me, Jurgen, and Ian.”
    Sam squeaked. A tiny squeak, completely involuntary. “Um, what about Miller?”
    Nik rolled his eyes until he almost fell over. “Miller and Ian don’t really get along, and Miller had some weird reaction to me introducing him to all those guys.” Nik flapped his hand.
    “Like an allergic reaction?”
    “I guess. He sure acted like it was giving him hives to be introduced to the finest men I could dig up for him.”
    “Where did you find all those guys, anyway?”
    “I put a personal ad in the paper.”
    Oh, now that definitely called for the silent treatment. Sam raised his brows and eyed him.
    Nik lifted his chin in defiance. “It’s good for him. Helps him develop gay social skills.”
    “ Gay social skills? How are those different from regular social skills?”
    “They aren’t. That’s the point.”
    “I’m so lost.”
    “I don’t have time to explain it to you. I have a hot-tubbing to host.” In a nicer tone, Nik added, “If you hurry up, you can get in before anyone else and turn on the bubbles. Then no one will be able to see if you get excited.”
    Sam returned to the guest room posthaste to shuck the shorts.

Sam got naked as fast as he could, wrapped a towel somewhat haphazardly around his hips, and found the hot tub blissfully empty when he got there. Thank God .
    The water was too damn hot, but he forced himself in and turned on the bubbles. Then he looked down. He almost couldn’t see his naked self, except for a pink blob shimmying and shaking in the rapidly moving water. He glanced at his shoulders in the light from the back porch. Yep, they were as white as ever.
    Great. That