Too Far to Say Far Enough: A Novel Read Online Free PDF

said.
    “You mean because I didn’t say anything when I was washing your feet—”
    “You have already given us so much. Any more would practically be overkill. But you wear yourself all over your face, so what’s going on?”
    Bonner pushed his glasses up his nose. “I just didn’t want to say this in front of everybody—”
    “Uh-oh. What did I do?”
    “Am I going to get to finish a sentence in this conversation?”
    “Probably not.”
    He put a hand over mine. “Look, I know things aren’t easy for you financially right now, and I thought maybe you could use—”
    “You are not going to give me money.”
    “I was just going to offer you a loan to tide you over until—”
    “I’m fine.”
    He just blinked at me over the tops of the shades.
    “Seriously,” I said. “There’s a salary for me incorporated into that grant Liz helped us get. That’ll last six months if I budget carefully.”
    “That’s a pretty big if.”
    I flopped back on the swing. “I know, right? Sometimes I don’t know where it goes.”
    “I’ll tell you where it goes—”
    “I take Mercedes to coffee. I buy lunch for Maharry and the girls. I—”
    “You try to save the world instead of paying the electric bill.”
    I narrowed my eyes at him. “How did you know about that?”
    Bonner grinned. “So that really happened.”
    “You are slime. Tell anyone and I’ll cut your heart out.”
    “Look, Allison—”
    “No, Bonner, I’m not going to accept money from you. We’re about people becoming empowered to help themselves, and that applies to me, too.”
    “Y’know, if you’d hush up for about seven seconds …”
    He waited. I pulled a finger across my lips.
    “I was just going to suggest you have somebody handle your personal finances for you. That way you’d be freed up to do what you’re good at.”
    “Are you volunteering?”
    “I’d rather be shot. But Chief would probably—”
    I actually snorted.
    “What?”
    “That would be a total train wreck. It would just be a matter of who came out alive.”
    Bonner leaned back, arms folded behind his head. “So what’s going to happen when you get married?”
    I could almost feel the sweat bubbles popping out across my upper lip. “What makes you think—”
    “Oh, come on, Allison, I’ve never seen two people more nuts about each other.”
    “More so than you and Liz? You two can’t keep your hands off of each other.” I leaned toward the door. “Where is my favorite social worker, anyway?”
    “You’re dodging.”
    “Yes, I am.”
    I stood up and put my hand down to him. “Thanks, my friend. But I’m fine. I really am.”
    “The offer stands.”
    “You’re making Allison an offer? You might need legal counsel for that.”
    I turned and, of course, smiled too eagerly at Kade who was emerging from the kitchen with three plates of tiramisu balanced up his arm.
    “You ever work as a waiter?” Bonner said.
    “All through law school. I made more in tips then than I’m making now.”
    Bonner took a plate from him and moved with typical tact toward the door. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. You’re both going to pro bono yourselves straight into heaven.”
    He let the door close behind him, leaving Kade and me examining our mascarpone. I thought I should sit down but I was afraid he wouldn’t.
    “Nice ceremony,” he said.
    “Uh-huh,” I said. Eloquently. “I liked what you said about getting Desmond through math for the rest of his academic career. I’m a complete liability to him in that area.”
    I then shoveled a hunk of Hank’s liqueur-and-lady-fingers into my mouth so I wouldn’t say that I now had two sons or that what I really wanted was for them to be brothers. Or ask if witnessing an adoption made him feel … something … I didn’t know what. I stuck another mouthful in on top of the other one, though none of it was going anywhere. My esophagus was in a square knot.
    “I’m buying a house,” Kade said.