Tomorrow's Dream Read Online Free PDF Page B

theirs?”
    â€œThey can’t tell us. They say they don’t know yet.” There should be a baby for her to lift from the crib upstairs, a baby to hold and love and fit into her heart’s barren space. A baby to fill the house with its light and cries and love. “They won’t—can’t tell us anything. And it’s been six weeks, Martha. Six weeks tomorrow.”
    â€œOh, my darling, Kyle, you sound so sad. Wait, Harry’s telling me something.” There was a murmuring in the background, then Martha said, “Harry suggests that we take you out for a drive. We could go have lunch in Annapolis and a walk along the Maryland shore. There won’t be a soul out this time of year.”
    â€œThank you, Martha. But I can’t.” Her slow revolution around the hall brought her back to her reflection in the mirror. There were new creases to her forehead, new shadows. Her gaze looked as dull and lifeless as her voice sounded to her own ears. “Abigail has arranged for baby Charles to be seen by one of the world’s leading heart specialists—a doctor from the Mayo Clinic. He’s here for a conference, and she pulled some strings.”
    â€œThat’s wonderful, dear.” Martha’s enthusiasm was full of hope and encouragement. “At last maybe you’ll hear some good news. When is your meeting?”
    â€œKenneth is supposed to pick me up in a half hour.” But saying her husband’s name renewed the pain and the guilt she had been feeling all morning. It was so strong she had to let a little of it out. “We had a . . . well, a fight this morning.”
    â€œOh no, I’m so sorry.”
    â€œIt was my fault. Kenneth has been so strong, and I started arguing with him over nothing at all.” There was a little catch to her voice, but she fought it off. It was easy to do. She had cried so much there was no need to shed any more tears. If tears could ease her worry or bring Charles home, it would have happened weeks ago. “I just don’t see how he can get up and go to the office like . . . like nothing is wrong.”
    â€œBut he has to go, dear. He has a job. The world doesn’t stop because—”
    â€œBut it should stop.” She heard the unreasonableness in her voice and did not care. She was not arguing with Martha. She was giving voice to the storm of feelings that robbed her nights of sleep and her days of meaning. She was calling out for the baby who was not there in her arms. “How dare people keep walking by outside my house. Or laugh. Or say hello to each other like nothing was the matter. How dare they.”
    Martha was silent a long moment before suggesting, “Maybe we should pray together.”
    â€œThat’s all I do.” Kyle’s gaze shifted from the mirror to the Bible resting on her little desk. She had tried to read it since her return from the hospital, but the words were as lifeless as her heart. She had given up even the attempt. She turned away. “I pray so hard I feel like I’ve wrung my heart dry.”
    â€œWell, we will keep praying right along with you, my darling. Both of us. Night and day. Just remember that.”
    â€œThank you, Martha. I have to go now.”
    When Kyle hung up the phone and walked into the living room, the clock over the mantel seemed to mock her. The ticking slowed and slowed until time was frozen into the same endless void that was in her heart and her home. Kyle wrung her hands and willed the time to move forward until Kenneth would come and pick her up and they could go see her baby again.
    Turning away from the clock and walking back into the hallway, Kyle picked up her coat and seated herself in the high-backed chair by the door. She stared through the narrow front window, wishing Kenneth’s car would appear and she could open the door and walk away from the emptiness that was in her home. She glanced at