soulmate, even if such a person existed. I knew people who were alone, and I didn't want to be one of them.
It was one thing to tell my friends I didn't need a man, but it was a very different beast to find, one afternoon, that all I wanted was for just about everything to change.
I wiped at my eyes with the back of one hand and sighed, dragging my bags back to the car. It was hot outside now, and the walk across the parking lot burnt away the last of whatever shopping euphoria I would normally have been feeling. Brushing up against the edge of a complete mental breakdown certainly hadn't helped, and when I looked at the stuff I'd bought as it spilled from the bag when I threw it in the front seat I suddenly wanted nothing more than to return it. All of it.
And then I wanted to go home and box up all the shit I'd spent far too long acquiring and return that too. That, or donate it to someone who may find a use for it that I never could.
Maybe someone else could find joy in the things I had, but I'd been shopping at all the right places, buying things that were patently guaranteed to give me happiness.
Or so I'd thought.
Instead, all I wanted was for the book to be done, the advance to be mine and the readers to get exactly what they wanted.
If they wanted a hunk, they'd get a hunk. And I'd give myself a chance to get what I wanted out of life along the way, even if all that turned out to be a new life somewhere else...
Chapter 8
That night, I felt like I was going to war.
The first pages are always the worst. I could feel their blank faces glaring at me from the kitchen as I brewed the strongest coffee I could stand and did my best to mentally prepare myself for the task at hand.
One thousand words. That's all. I told myself that I could shut the laptop down after I'd done it and go to bed. Hell, I even told myself I'd be proud of to have accomplished that much, because at least it would be a start. At least I'd be headed in the right direction, and tomorrow when I looked over what I'd written I wouldn't be greeted with the cold, unfeeling eyes of that damn blank page.
I took a big sip of the coffee, promptly burning my tongue as I headed for the bedroom where the writing desk and the laptop were.
It only took a couple of seconds to boot up. I remember when computers used to take minutes to turn on, long enough to make coffee and daydream and maybe do a load of laundry, but the days of happily wasting time because of my technology's inability to be ready the instant I needed it were long gone.
So, I sat down.
I set my coffee aside.
I wrote a word.
He .
"There we go, Beth," I said out loud in an attempt to encourage myself. "The start of a bestseller to be sure."
Now, I only had to do that a thousand more times and I was off the hook for the night...
I stared at the word for a couple of seconds, then dove in again. It was nine o'clock, which seemed as good a time as any to do what had to be done.
was everything the world needed him to be, I wrote. Strong, powerful, rigidly strict when it came to his own desires and how to embrace them. Logan Mercado wore cuff links that had the value of most people's cars and drove a car worth more than the houses they lived in, but he didn't let the wealth he'd built from nothing go to his head. No, he knew in an instant that everything could be gone. He'd seen it happen to others, and caused it to happen to those who'd crossed him more than once. His most important asset was his swift, perhaps overly ambitious mind, and he'd honed it to such a fine edge that he could walk into a business and, if the mood took him, walk out as the new owner with a twenty percent profit.
I nodded, practically humming along. My fingertips were buzzing, and I found myself smiling.
Was it good? I shrugged. It wasn't bad , that was for sure. I could
Lauraine Snelling, Alexandra O'Karm