They Told Me I Had to Write This Read Online Free PDF

simile or a metaphor or an allegory or a symbol. A simile is when we say something is something else, and a metaphor is when we say something is like something else, and an allegory is when one thing is kind of hidden inside another thing.
    So a simile is saying, ‘The moon was a soft brush painting light across the bay.’ How’s that for romance? That’s what happens when you have English after talking about girls all lunchtime. Ha ha.
    And a metaphor is saying, ‘The moon was like a beacon, drawing our love into its own embrace.’ I got these lines from Hamish. Hamish thinks up romantic stuff easy, which means he’s always talking about girls, which means I like to hang with him at lunch.
    ‘As the moon rose across the bay my lady’s love rose to illuminate the darkest places of my heart.’ I’m on a Hamish roll here, Gram. Guess what I’m going to be like when I’ve got a girlfriend. Who cares about similes or metaphors anyway?
    But that’s not really what I was thinking about. Girls, I mean. Well I probably was a bit. OK more than a bit.
    Though I was really thinking about writing letters to Dad. I want him to know what’s happening in me. But my stuff is not love and moonlight, it’s pain and darkness, and it keeps coming up from inside like lava. No way can I tell him this stuff. We’d be burned alive before I got it right.
    Trouble is, I don’t know if this is a simile or a metaphor.
    Anyway, I wanted you to know that they are teaching us stuff in English, even though this school doesn’t put too much energy into it like in a normal school.
    Clem the Super-Heated.

    WEDNESDAY, JUNE 3
JACKO DOES GERMAN
    Dear Gram
    I’m on a roll here. Must be starting to like English coz here’s another story of what happened in English this week. Jacko’s our class clown and a great bloke and I like him, even if he gets a bit high sometimes coz he’s fully ADHD and on Rit and everything. At first meeting with Jacko you can tell there’s a pretty wild party going on upstairs.
    Well, we’ve been learning fancy words and stuff. How’s this for a fancy word? Onomatopoeia. You ever heard of that? When Mr German started out on this Jacko said, ‘Why use a big word when a diminutive one will do?’
    Mr German’s eyes give him away and we can tell when there’s serious work happening inside. So, he looked at Jacko like something in there was saying, ‘Is this going to be another one of Jacko’s days?’
    Now, the ‘Onomato’ thing means a word that sounds like its meaning. Tricky, that is, really tricky. So Mr German was trying to get us to think of words that sound like their meaning. He suggested some to start us off, like click and knock and smoooooth. So we started off to think of some, trouble was Jacko thinks faster than any of us and he stood up and said, ‘I’ve got one.’ And Mr German asked him what it was and he said, ‘Faaarrt,’ and at the same time he said the word niiice and slooow he let loose a beauty. We all laughed except Mr German coz that’s how the world runs. And then the smell hit. He was radioactive. I reckon he must have specially prepared that one.
    Mr German said, ‘OK everyone outside while the air clears,’ and he took us for a run around the sheep paddock and by the time we got back English was back to normal.
    That was stand-up funny and that’s how Jacko is and the teachers are mosdy pretty patient about that sort of thing, but I guess it’s not the worst thing that’s happened in this school. We sure do a lot of laps around the paddock in this place.
    One time Mr German asked Jacko to give him two personal pronouns and Jacko just said, ‘Who, me?’ Mr German thought for two seconds and said ‘That’ll do’ and he went on to the next question for the next kid. Everybody looked at Jacko and said, ‘What?’ I think Mr German let him off the hook with that one. Probably just wanted to have an easy day.
    Somebody should make a movie! He is the most fully serious