The Yorkshire Pudding Club Read Online Free PDF

Elizabeth?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘Oh yes–I remember you said you were going. How was it?’
    ‘Not much cop, really. Came home early. This is delicious,’ said Elizabeth, shovelling a mouthful of food in so she couldn’t talk any more.
    ‘So what happens now? How far on are you?’ asked Janey.
    ‘Well, they count it from the date of your last period, so that means I’m nearly seven weeks’ pregnant. I start antenatal classes when I’ve missed my second period.’
    ‘That can’t be right!’ Elizabeth said. ‘That would make you about two weeks’ pregnant before you’d even had the fateful bonk.’
    ‘Trust me, it’s right,’ said Helen.
    Janey gasped, ‘Jeez, seven weeks! That’s like being nearly two months’ pregnant!’
    ‘Yes. Well done, Carol Vorderman.’
    Janey stuck her tongue out at Elizabeth then turned back to Helen. ‘Are you feeling sick then?’
    ‘Yes, I’m afraid so, but even worse than the nausea is the sensitivity in my chest. If you’ve ever had your nipples rubbed with sandpaper, that’s what it feels like.’
    ‘Well, I haven’t– she probably will have had,’ and Janey thumbed towards Elizabeth.
    ‘…and tired,’ Helen went on. ‘I’m so dreadfully tired all the time.’
    Elizabeth’s ears pricked up, although she was being silly. She’d had a period since New Year–a light one, but a period all the same, thank God.
    ‘Is that a symptom then, being tired?’
    ‘Apparently so, at the beginning. And at the end, obviously.’
    ‘I thought you got sick and fat and that was it,’ said Elizabeth, who had never had any reason to read up about what happened during pregnancy.
    ‘No, no, no!’ said Helen. ‘My gums won’t stop bleeding either and I feel like I need the loo every five minutes.’
    ‘I think you must be pregnant as well then,’ laughed Janey, nodding her head towards Elizabeth. ‘Sounds a right laugh so far, Hels.’
    ‘It gets better later on. When I get to twelve weeks some of the nasty things, like the nausea and the tiredness, should all have gone. Actually, I don’t feel too bad this evening for a change,’ Helen said brightly, ‘but in the mornings I could just crawl back into bed. In fact, I did today.’
    ‘These part-time workers!’ said Janey, stretching out for more parmesan, and then withdrawing her hand when she remembered its calorific value. ‘I’d love to crawl back into bed some mornings, especially at this time of year.’
    ‘Well, you know what to do–get pregnant.’
    ‘Drop dead!’
    ‘I always thought you would have children, or at least one child,’ said Helen.
    ‘We’ve left it a bit late now,’ said Janey, wriggling like a worm on a line anxious to change the subject before they started talking about what a great dad George would make. She was forever batting away the guilt at denying him the chance to be a daddy, even though she knew that it was what he wanted more than anything.
    ‘I really liked working fulltime,’ sighed Helen absently, ‘but Simon put his foot down. He hates coming home to an empty house. Silly thing is, he works such long hours I could have done a fulltime job and still have been back in plenty of time for him.’
    Selfish swine, thought Elizabeth. However had someone as lovely as Hels landed up with a prat like him? Well, she knew the answer to that really; he had nipped in when she was at her most vulnerable and taken her over, just like the evil spirit in The Exorcist took over Linda Blair. She had wondered for a long time whether Simon was just hanging on in there until Mrs Luxmore snuffed it and Helen inherited the whole of the family fortune, but such thoughts were hardly a conversation-starter with Helen. She was a suspiciously closed book about their relationship, even to them–her best friends.
    ‘So what if you give birth to a chalk outline with an enormous willy and a club?’ Elizabeth said, stabbing a piece of chicken and nodding appreciatively.
    Helen brightened. ‘I’m