The World's Biggest Bogey Read Online Free PDF Page B

wore an old
tartan shirt, baggy blue trousers and cowboy boots. For some reason, Professor Walkinshaw reminded Danny of his grandad’s favourite comfy old chair.

    ‘Hi, Danny.’
    ‘Bucket scoops, Wobble.’
    ‘How are you doing, young man?’
    ‘My ears can see daisies.’
    ‘Interesting,’ murmured the professor. He turned to the nurse. ‘Have you had any sense from Danny?’
    ‘None, Professor. He’s been talking complete gobbledegook since he woke up.’
    The professor rubbed his chin. ‘This can happen when patients wake in a strange place. Danny might begin to talk normally when he sees something familiar.’
    ‘Danny’s family and his best friend Matthew Mason are waiting outside,’ suggested the nurse.
    ‘OK, show them in and let’s give it a try, ’ said Professor Walkinshaw.
    Danny’s mum raced in and kissed and hugged Danny tightly. His dad ruffled Danny’s hair.

    ‘Bucket scoops, Beans on Toast,’ said Danny. He smiled at Natalie. ‘Bucket scoops, Dopey.’
    Matthew stood by the door and gave him the thumbs up.
    Danny grinned at his best friend. ‘Wonderfluff!’
    Mum frowned. ‘Danny what are you talking about?’
    ‘Snowflakes burnt my banjo, Beans!’
    Mum and Dad looked at each other anxiously, and then at the doctors. ‘We don’t understand. What’s the matter with him?’
    ‘I’m afraid Danny has a severe case of Trauma-induced Nonsensical Pronouncements,’ answered the professor.
    Dr Sri smiled at Danny’s mum and dad. ‘What the professor means is that the blow on the head has made Danny talk gibberish.’
    Natalie snorted. ‘Danny always talks gibberish – how can you tell the difference?’
    ‘Dribble on the fat bucket, Dopey,’ replied her brother.
    ‘I was hoping that it was a mere case of Temporary Acute Vocabulary Disorientation Syndrome,’ said the professor. ‘But obviously it’s more serious than that.’
    ‘Unfortunately, seeing your familiar faces hasn’t cured him,’ explained Dr Sri. ‘But don’t worry, if anyone can make Danny well again, it’s Professor
Walkinshaw. He’s the world’s leading expert on baffling illnesses.’
    ‘Nothing’s beaten me so far,’ confirmed the professor.
    ‘So he will get better?’ asked Mum.
    ‘I hope so, Mrs Baker, but I can’t promise. You may never understand another word Danny says to you, ever again.’
    ‘Tootle on the turtle, Bernard?’ asked Danny.
    ‘Yeah, I’m OK, Dan,’ replied Matthew. ‘How’re you?’
    ‘Our tadpole licks a carrot. Are your drumsticks marching up my nose?’
    Matthew rummaged in his pocket and pulled out a half-eaten bar of chocolate. ‘This is all I’ve got,’ he said, ‘but you can have it if you want.’

    ‘Wonderfluff!’
    ‘Just a minute,’ interrupted Professor Walkinshaw, gazing at Matthew. ‘Can you understand what Danny is saying?’
    ‘Yeah, course I can,’ answered Matthew. ‘He just said he was starving and did I have anything nice to eat.’
    Danny nodded and looked at his mum. ‘The worms are cooking tea cosies in the cup.’
    Matthew laughed. ‘He said he’s glad the giant farting baby didn’t hurt you.’
    ‘So what did he mean by “Dribble on the fat bucket, Dopey”?’ asked Natalie.
    Matthew glanced cheekily at Danny. ‘Er . . . he said that you’re looking extremely beautiful today, Natalie.’
    The boys sniggered. Natalie glared at them.
    ‘This is even more baffling,’ said the professor. ‘The Extraordinary Understanding of Trauma-induced Nonsensical Pronouncements is even rarer than Trauma-induced
Nonsensical Pronouncements itself.’
    Matthew looked at Danny and rolled his eyes. ‘You’re a trillion times easier to understand than him ,’ he said.
    ‘Wonderfluff!’ laughed Danny.
    ‘Cool!’ agreed Matthew.
     
The Baffling Children
    St Egberts Childrens Hospital, Walchester
    Bucket scoops, Captain Barnacle
    All’s well now bouncing Bernard can whistle at a box of toenails. She’s a lid off a daffodil with