The World Outside Read Online Free PDF Page B

enough time to set the table and feed Moishe.”
    She turned on the cassette player and opera music filled the room. I scurried back and forth from the kitchen to the plaintive tones of the baritone singingthe role of Rigoletto. I wanted to hum along, but I knew Mama wouldn’t like it. The hair on the back of my neck stood up when I heard the anguish and desperation in the singer’s voice. I’d heard the same aria countless times, for Mama listened to this opera most of all, but I could never get used to Rigoletto’s suffering. I wanted to know why he was feeling such pain, but I couldn’t understand a single word of the Italian lyrics. I glanced at Mama. She was busy peeling potatoes, her brow furrowed in concentration.
    I should have known better, but the words just slipped out. “Mama, why is Rigoletto so sad?”
    Her knife stopped in midair. “What do you mean?”
    “What is Rigoletto’s story? I can hear the pain in his voice, and I can’t help wondering what makes him so unhappy.”
    “A Lubavitcher girl need not concern herself with such worldly matters.” She returned to peeling the potatoes.
    I was tempted to point out that if Rigoletto’s story was so worldly that she couldn’t discuss it with me, surely the music she listened to so faithfully was also worldly. Luckily, I came to my senses in time and bit my lip to prevent the words from escaping.
    “We’ll take some food over to the people across the street tomorrow,” Mama said. “The brisket is big enough for leftovers, and I peeled extra potatoes.”
    “Are you talking about the people who had the fire?”
    “Why do you sound so surprised? They lost everything. It’s a mitzvah to help those in need. That’s what the Rebbe wants us to do.”
    “But you always tell me never to talk to or even look at black people I don’t know.”
    She wiped her brow with the back of her hand. “Stop your nonsense, Chanie,” she sighed. “Your brother is waiting for his dinner.”
    I fed Moishe and put him to bed. He grabbed my hand and wouldn’t let me leave him. “Ya, ya, ya!” he cried, a sure sign that he was upset. I had to give him his stuffed teddy and tell him two stories before his eyes grew heavy and I could tiptoe out of his room. I felt so tired that I didn’t even bother combing my hair before going to the dining room.
    My family was already at the table. Even Yossi was there, with his study partner beside him. It was David.
    “She finally appears,” Yossi said in a jocular tone. He turned to David. “This is my sister Chanie.”
    I couldn’t bear to look at him, let alone my brother or Papa.
    “David and I are learning together,” Yossi said to me. “I met him in the mall when we went on outreach there. We’ve been getting together ever since to studythe Torah.” He winked at me. “I don’t see
you
bringing anybody home to study.”
    “David’s been wasting his time in college up to now!” Papa boomed. “He is finally learning something of value from your brother.” He nodded approvingly.
    I fixed my eyes on the threadbare carpet.
Please, please, please don’t let David say that I already met him
. Mama won’t ever let me out of the house again if she finds out that I chatted with a strange boy in the mall.
    “Nice to meet you,” I finally managed to croak.
    “But we—”
    My head shot up and David stopped dead. I tried to implore him silently not to betray me.
    He coughed and cleared his throat.
    “I’m sorry. I had a cold and I’m still coughing. But it’s nice to meet you too, Chanie.”
    I sank into my seat, grateful that Mama was still in the kitchen.
    Esther gave me a strange look. “Is everything okay?” she asked.
    “Fine,” I whispered. I scooped Ari out of his high chair and buried my face in his softness. I held him so tightly that he began to cry.
    Esther stood up. “If you’ll mind the baby, I’ll help Mama Miriam in the kitchen.”
    I loosened my hold and patted Ari on his back until he gave