The World According To Garp

The World According To Garp Read Online Free PDF

Book: The World According To Garp Read Online Free PDF
Author: John Irving
Tags: Humor, Contemporary, Adult, Classic
docile than a child, but she wasn’t sure how much else was wrong with him.
    “Hello. How are you?” she asked him, when they wheeled him—grinning—into the ward.
    “Garp!” he barked. The oculomotor nerve had been partially restored, and his eyes now leapt, rather than rolled, but his hands were wrapped in gauze mittens, the result of Garp’s playing in an accidental fire that broke out in the hospital compound aboard his transport ship. He’d seen the flames and had reached out his hands to them, spreading some of the flames up to his face; he’d singed off his eyebrows. He looked a lot like a shaved owl, to Jenny.
    With the burns, Garp was an External and an Absentee all at once. Also, with his hands so heavily bandaged, he had lost the ability to masturbate, an activity that his papers said he pursued frequently and successfully—and without any self-consciousness. Those who’d observed him closely, since his accident with the ship’s fire, feared that the childish gunner was becoming depressed—his one adult pleasure taken from him, at least until his hands healed.
    It was possible, of course, that Garp had Vital Organ damage as well. Many fragments had entered his head; many of them were too delicately located to be removed. Sergeant Garp’s brain damage might not stop with his crude lobotomy; his internal destruction could be progressing. “Our general deterioration is complicated enough,” Garp wrote, “without the introduction of flak to our systems.”
    There’d been a patient before Sergeant Garp whose head had been similarly penetrated. He’d been fine for months, just talking to himself and occasionally peeing in his bed. Then he started to lose his hair; he had trouble completing his sentences. Just before he died, he began to develop breasts.
    Given the evidence, the shadows, and the white needles in the X rays, Gunner Garp was probably a Goner. But to Jenny Fields he looked very nice. A small, neat man, the former ball turret gunner was as innocent and straightforward in his demands as a two-year-old. He cried “Garp!” when he was hungry and “Garp!” when he was glad; he asked “Garp?” when something puzzled him, or when addressing strangers, and he said “Garp” without the question mark when he recognized you. He usually did what he was told, but be couldn’t be trusted; he forgot easily, and if one time he was as obedient as a six-year-old, another time he was as mindlessly curious as if he were one and a half.
    His depressions, which were well documented in his transport papers, seemed to occur simultaneously with his erections. At these moments he would clamp his poor, grown-up peter between his gauzy, mittened hands and weep. He wept because the gauze didn’t feel as good as his short memory of his hands, and also because it hurt his hands to touch anything. It was then that Jenny Fields would come sit with him. She would rub his back between his shoulder blades, until he tipped back his head like a cat, and she’d talk to him all the while, her voice friendly and full of exciting shifts of accent. Most nurses droned to their patients—a steady, changeless voice intent on producing sleep, but Jenny knew that it wasn’t sleep Garp needed. She knew he was only a baby, and he was bored—he needed some distraction. So Jenny entertained him. She played the radio for him, but some of the programs upset Garp; no one knew why. Other programs gave him terrific erections, which led to his depressions, and so forth. One program, just once, gave Garp a wet dream, which so surprised and pleased him that he was always eager to
see
the radio. But Jenny couldn’t find that program again, she couldn’t repeat the performance. She knew that if she could plug poor Garp into the wet-dream program, her job and his life would be much happier. But it wasn’t that easy.
    She gave up trying to teach him a new word. When she fed him and she saw that he liked what he was eating, she’d say,
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